Saturday, May 24, 2003
Mood
These past few days, over the past week, I've to admit, I've been quite moody. Stressed. Sad. Angry. Pissed. Frustrated. Exhausted and tired. All at the same time. There were not many happy moments for me. Let's just face it. Nothing seemed to be right for me. Clay's loss. Loss to VJ tennis. Pissed off by the incessant teasing from the class (I think sometimes, they've really gone overboard. A little bit of it is OK, but too much of it can really drive me nuts). Disagreements with mum. Lots of homework and tutorials yet to be completed. Reminder of Block Test. Hearing my brothers quarrel with my mum about playing computer games and chatting online. Even the weather hasn't been kind either. It just hasn't been a great week for me. To tell the truth, i don't think anyone has been able to fully understand what's going through. I don't feel like talking to anyone about it right now. Somehow, I prefer keeping all these things to myself. I've tried several times to forget all the stress, pressure, sadness, anger and instead, just try to be happy and enjoy life, but everytime i do that, i'll end up getting overwhelmed by all those stuff. I just feel like giving up on life. Sometimes, I just wonder what it'd be like to start a whole new life all over again. Sigh. Whatever. Sorry to all those who may have been pissed off by my continuous laments of Clay's loss. I know there are bigger things in life than american idol. And to those who may have been pissed off by the things i said or did. Sorry to those whom i've hit and punched and whatever i did because i felt like hitting something out of frustration at that moment. You can say i've been really stressed. Sigh. Whatever lah. To Bernice, thanks for the email. It certainly has kind of lifted up my spirits a little. Thanks for the concern, and you're right. One verse comes to mind. "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." - Phil 4:13. Our favourite verse, remember? Hopefully, everything will turn out for the better in the coming weeks. And yes, I'll always believe in myself, believing that I can do everything, anything, through Christ. Real thanks once again, for that email.
posted by vivien at 3:48 AM