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Monday, April 21, 2008

Like the sun that rises everyday,
You are so faithful. Lord, You are faithful.
Like the rain that You send,
And every breath that I breathe,
You are so faithful, Lord

Like the rose that comes alive every spring,
You are so faithful. Lord, You are faithful.
Like the life that You give,
to every beat of my heart,
You are so faithful, Lord.

I see the cross and the price You had to pay,
I see the blood that washed my sins away.

In the midst of the storm
through the wind and the waves,
You'll still be faithful, You'll still be faithful,
When the stars refuse to shine and time is no more,
You'll still be faithful,
You'll still be faithful, Lord.

Sang this song in church yesterday. I guess the song came at an appropriate time considering how much stress I have put on myself. Serves as a reminder and an encouragement that the Lord is always faithful to me and that I can do all things through Him who gives me strength.

Spring Carnival came and went, and now we are left with the last two weeks of classes, which are going to be my busiest ever for the entire semester. In a way, a part of me wants these two weeks to be over quickly, yet another part of me doesn't really want school and classes to be over just yet.

I should really stop complaining about how many things I have to do. Just thinking and complaining about them isn't going to change things. I should just get down to doing them one by one, starting with studying for corporate finance midterm tomorrow.

I think achieving a balance in life is one of the most difficult things. And I'm not just talking about learning to manage your time so that you can have time to do things that matter to you. How do you deal with wanting to be nice and helpful, and not being a pushover at the same time? How do you go about saying and doing what you really want to without hurting others around you? How do you know when you should speak out and when you should just hold your tongue? Sometimes I feel trapped really wanting to do something but knowing that it would hurt someone close to me, and my selfish perspective would often times take over, sadly. There is a very thin line between all these things. I guess learning how to tread this line takes experience and you learn from what you have been through. I just wish that there are some clear cut answers out there so that I would know what to do for sure. Oh well.

posted by vivien at 10:39 AM
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Saturday, April 19, 2008

Today is just one of those days I'm feeling irritated at almost everyone and at every single thing. Sigh.

I guess Spring Carnival was, more than anything else, a very good break from school. And great weather too. Didn't feel as excited as I was in previous years about the booths. Oh well.

Last two weeks of school. Projects and deadlines piling up. More meetings. Not forgetting tests as well. I'm really really worried about my corporate finance midterm this coming Tuesday. No use worrying about it, but I can't help it. I know I can do it; it's just a matter of having the drive and motivation to do work and manage my time properly.

My head is not in the right mind today. I keep feeling bad about certain things. Getting very very stressed over a lot of stuff. It has not been a very good weekend, has it?

posted by vivien at 11:54 PM
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Thursday, April 17, 2008

You Are Everything (Matthew West)

I'm the one with two left feet
Standing on a lonely street
I can't even walk a straight line
And every time You look at me
I'm spinning like an autumn leaf
Bound to hit bottom sometime
Where would I be without someone to save me
Someone who won't let me fall

You are everything that I live for
Everything that I can't believe is happening
You're standing right in front of me
With arms wide open
All I know is
Every day is filled with hope
You are everything that I believe for
And I can't help but breathe You in
Breathe again
Feeling all this life within
Every single beat of my heart

I'm the one with big mistakes
Big regrets and bigger breaks
Than I ever care to confess
Oh but, You're the one who looks at me
And sees what I was meant to be
More than just a beautiful mess
Where would I be without someone to save me
Someone who won't let me fall

You are everything that I live for
Everything that I can't believe is happening
You're standing right in front of me
With arms wide open
All I know is
Every day is filled with hope
You are everything that I believe for
And I can't help but breathe You in
Breathe again
Feeling all this life within
Every single beat of my heart

You're everything good in my life
Everything honest and true
And all of those stars hanging up in the sky
Could never shine brighter than You

You are everything that I live for
Everything that I can't believe is happening
You're standing right in front of me
With arms wide open
All I know is
Every day is filled with hope
You are everything that I believe for
And I can't help but breathe You in
Breathe again
Feeling all this life within
Every single beat of my heart

You are
You are
Jesus, You are
You are everything

posted by vivien at 12:12 PM
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Sunday, April 13, 2008

For some reason, I've been feeling happy this past week. I just feel blessed and at peace with things in general. Not that it's a bad thing. I guess it helped that it was a rather slack week and the weather was heavenly =)

I really like going for cell groups this semester. I feel that I'm learning a lot from the book of James and I feel much closer to the rest of the girls too. I was just suddenly thinking yesterday that I do need to find a cell group when I go back to Singapore. Ahh..things will really be so different.

This week will be a much busier week for me..at least until before Carnival. We have to come up with the slides for our project class by next week, so we don't have much time left. It seems that the professor is happy with what we have done so far (which is not that much), so hopefully the final weeks of the project won't be so bad. I still feel that I'm not contributing enough to the project, even though I've tried to take the initiative in doing certain things, and I really feel bad about it. Sigh.

The other class that is getting me quite worried is corporate finance. I feel like I don't really know much of the stuff that is covered in class, that I have not learned much, and the midterm is coming up soon. Argh. And to think that I will be going into corporate finance. Really really crossing my fingers for this class.

I'm quite looking forward to Spring Carnival this week (partly because there are no classes!). First time since I came that SSA is not doing a booth. I guess it will be a different experience to just visit the booths and not be involved in building a booth. Quite curious to see what the frats have managed to come up with this time.

On another note, quite a number of things seem to be happening on campus lately. Michelle Obama came to speak 2 weeks ago; Chelsea Clinton will be speaking here tomorrow, and John McCain will be speaking on Tuesday. Election fever is certainly heating up, especially because voting in Pennsylvania takes place a week from now. Also, Smart People just opened on Friday and there was a special screening in school the day before. Too bad we didn't get to watch the pre-screening, but I'm still hoping to watch it, mainly to see shots of CMU in the film. Haha.

Little things that have made me happy these past few days (I kindda like to remember this sort of things): Meeting up with friends and just being able to sit down and talk, be it over meals, drinks or whatever. Playing tennis. Dressing up for MCS Ball (even though we didn't know many people, it was still fun to dress up and the place was really beautiful too). Spontaneity on Fridays (shopping at H&M two Fridays ago, then shopping at rue21 and dinner at Union Grill last Friday). KTV. Cupcake from my friend. MU beating Arsenal.

The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not be in want.
I read Psalm 23 for one of my devotions this past week, and that is taken from the first verse. I really like this line. Serves as an encouragement to me and a reminder that with Him, I would not be lacking in anything.

posted by vivien at 10:04 PM
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Monday, April 07, 2008

Ordinary Miracle (Sarah McLachlan)

It’s not that unusual
When everything is beautiful
It’s just another ordinary miracle today

The sky knows when its time to snow
Don’t need to teach a seed to grow
It’s just another ordinary miracle today

Life is like a gift they say
Wrapped up for you everyday
Open up and find a way
To give some of your own

Isn’t it remarkable
Like every time a rain drop falls
It’s just another ordinary miracle today

Birds in winter have their fling
But always make it home by spring
It’s just another ordinary miracle today

When you wake up everyday
Please don’t throw your dreams away
Hold them close to your heart
Cause we’re all a part
Of the ordinary miracle
Ordinary miracle
Do you want to see a miracle?

It seems so exceptional
That things just work out after all
It’s just another ordinary miracle today

Sun comes up and shines so bright
And disappears again at night
It’s just another ordinary miracle today
It’s just another ordinary miracle today

Warm weather makes me smile =)
I feel very blessed and thankful. It's been a good start to the week and hopefully this blissful feeling will last.

posted by vivien at 5:28 PM
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Sunday, April 06, 2008

I'm so glad that the weekend is here! Been a pretty busy week in terms of schoolwork and I was quite exhausted by the end of the week. I'm glad I've had the time to relax and recharge over the weekend. Went to Southside yesterday for some shopping at H&M. I knew I shouldn't have spent so much, but I couldn't resist the temptation to buy stuff heh. Played tennis today too and it's really good to be able to play tennis more often now that the weather is starting to get warmer. I think spring is finally here and I can't wait to see pretty, colorful tulips to bloom again.

You know, going into this line of business, it is so easy to get carried away by money and the perks that you get. It doesn't help that in today's world, success is measured by those tangible and quantifiable things like the amount of money you earn and your wealth. I just hope that I will remain grounded and not forget the more important things in my life. It's something I've been thinking about and struggling for some time, and I'm not really sure if I will be able to resolve these conflicts later on.

Oh well. Graduation is drawing nearer (pardon me if I keep talking about this haha). Yesterday, on the way back, we talked about which semester has been the semester so far. To be honest, I don't really know because each one is different in its own ways and has its own unique experiences and lessons for me. But I think this semester is turning out to be right up there (along with last semester - despite craziness towards the end - and my sophomore fall semester). And it just struck me that I considered my last two semesters to be the best ever. I think it has to do with the fact that I've made a conscious effort to let go and not think too much about schoolwork, and to try to make the most of my time left, to do more spontaneous/random/crazy things. I think it also has to do with knowing my friends and the people around me better, which have made me cherish my friendships here even more. I wish I'll still be going to school next semester..I will really miss school.

Three things (or maybe more) I wish/hope I can do before I leave: 1) Ride the incline and go up Mount Washington (my favorite place in Pittsburgh!) 2) Watch sunrise or sunset from the top of Mt Wash or Cathedral of Learning (I miss watching sunsets from my New House room during my freshman year) 3) Have a nice dinner together at some fancy restaurant (maybe Cheesecake Factory? Besides, I think it'd be fun to dress up haha). If not, going to Kennywood would be pretty nice too.

posted by vivien at 12:40 AM
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