design'by*blackraeyn;

Wednesday, March 28, 2007

I am so glad that it gets dark later and later, and the weather so far has been fantastic! I know, I have been writing quite a bit about the weather lately, but well, I can barely wait for spring to come (or maybe it is already here?) And I can't wait for the flowers to bloom and see all the pretty colors.

This week seems to be much more happening for me in terms of internship search. Found openings at a few companies and it seems that these are the stuff that I really wanna do. But I don't know. A part of me still wants to be back over the summer break, more than ever now for some strange reason. Oh well. I guess let's just see how all this goes. Had a rather long chat with my advisor yesterday too and it feels good to have cleared up a few stuff.

Had Monday blues and I think I am having Wednesday blues too (if such a term exists). Seems that I always feel especially exhausted on Wednesdays because Mondays, Tuesdays and Wednesdays are really long for me, and also because I start to feel the sense of urgency to complete all my homeworks that is due Friday. But well, today, I just feel more overwhelmed than usual. Had a terribly long day in school (from 9.30am-5.30pm) and I realized I was practically indoors all the time, and I guess I have been pretty stressed out by my finance homework and my OR take-home midterm, both of which are due on Friday.

Well, I suppose complaining and fretting about both my assignments are not going to be of any use and will just make me feel worse. I just have to stop being lazy and actually start doing a little bit of the work, then maybe it won't seem so bad.

And you know, isn't that what life is pretty much all about? You can't just expect to achieve something rightaway without actually starting to do something about it. It is like how at the beginning of a project, it is unrealistic for you to know for sure what you are going to do right from the start and to expect that everything will turn out according to your plan. The truth is you are bound to be uncertain over how the it will develop over time and you will not know how it will turn out unless you actually start it bit by bit and iron things out along the way.

Similarly, we cannot expect to be close friends with other people overnight. You have to get to know a person first (and maybe even pluck up the courage to talk to him/her?) and gradually, a friendship begins to develop as you get to know the person better and the bond that you have with the person grows stronger over time.

But like doing homework, I guess to get started doing it is the hardest. Which is why I think I should stop blogging now and start on my work!

posted by vivien at 9:41 PM
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I love the lyrics for this song!!

I don't know, but I believe
That some things are meant to be
And that you'll make a better me
Everyday I love you

I never thought that dreams came true
But you showed me that they do
You know that I learn something new
Everyday I love you

'Cos I believe that destiny
Is out of our control (don't you know that I do)
And you'll never live until you love
With all your heart and soul

It's a touch when I feel bad
It's a smile when I get mad
All the little things I am
Everyday I love you

Everyday I love you more
Everyday I love you

'Cos I believe that destiny
Is out of our control (don't you know that I do)
And you'll never live until you love
With all your heart and soul

If I asked would you say yes?
Together we're the very best
I know that I am truly blessed
Everyday I love you
And I'll give you my best
Everyday I love you

posted by vivien at 9:24 PM
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Sunday, March 25, 2007

It's been one week since school started and it's really fast, isn't it? Before we know it, March is almost coming to an end and we are almost one-quarter through the year. Oh well..I guess there is no use complaining about how fast time flies. The most important thing is to realize that we have used our time meaningfully and not to regret that we have wasted our time.

The weekend has been great, albeit rather quiet, since most of you guys have gone off to Philly for the weekend. Had the chance to finally go to station square again on Friday (and I realized I have not been there since freshman fall haha), and to go up the incline again! I've always liked taking the incline and going up to Mt. Washington because the view up there is just breath-taking! Pity it was rainy and very overcast, so didn't really get a chance to watch the sunset from up there, but the view was still fantastic nonetheless, and it got better as it grew darker. Overall, it has been a good weekend (and a weekend of crazy fortune cookies!!) and I'm glad for the chance to get away from work for a while.

I watched My Best Friend's Wedding just now and it is such a sad romantic comedy! And I love the songs from the movie. Watching it makes me want to watch other romantic shows too. Perhaps I should watch Music and Lyrics soon haha. I am not quite sure what it is about romantic shows that draws me, but I sure like watching them!

The weather has been much better this week and maybe spring is finally in the air! Warm weather makes me happy. Who knows, maybe this is a sign of things to come?


Pretty background (but can't really see clearly..)


Downtown Pittsburgh!

posted by vivien at 6:07 PM
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Friday, March 23, 2007

How accurate are the first impressions that we have of other people? Most of us usually form our own opinions of people when we first meet them, but I think those impressions tend to change as we get to know them better. First impressions can influence greatly what we think of other people though. If you go for interviews, you don't have that much time to impress the interviewers, and decisions are based mostly on first impressions. In other words, you don't have the chance to change their opinions of yourself over time.

What about love at first sight then? Is it realistic to like someone based on your first impressions only? Well, personally, I don't think love at first sight works, as much as I would like to believe that it does. Then again, when it comes to love, who knows what is going to happen? Who can predict?

I realize that you can never be too prepared for something. I mean, you can prepare for certain situations and decide ahead of time how you are going to approach them. But sometimes, things happen unexpectedly, either because of the timing or the nature of the situations themselves, and you will be at a loss as to what to do. Oh well.

You know, I've been trying to find words to describe how I have felt these past few days, but I can't seem to find any. And I tried looking at song lyrics too, hoping that perhaps I can find lyrics that perfectly describe my feelings, and so far I haven't found any too. Maybe certain feelings are not meant to be verbalized, only to be experienced. Who knows?

Ah well. I've been thinking a lot lately, no thanks to having had to do 3 homeworks in the past 2 days. I'm more or less done with my homeworks (for once!!), but I'm feeling very drained mentally. Thank goodness I've almost recovered from my cold. And before I know it, first week of school is almost over! I'm kind of looking forward to the weekend. Hopefully, some much-needed rest!

posted by vivien at 12:48 AM
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Tuesday, March 20, 2007

Was randomly looking through JC photos just now and felt very nostalgic.

This was taken during jts in J2. That was 3 years ago! How time flies! And all of us looked so different then.

I can't even begin to describe how the past few days have been like. It has actually only been 3 days, but it feels much longer than that. But I have been pleasantly surprised, mostly at myself, by how everything has turned out.

School has started and I am still mentally trying to get back to doing work again. It's kind of hard though, because I am always getting distracted and I think I have gotten too used to slacking around too much! Still sick too, but I think I am slowly getting better. Sore throat has pretty much recovered, and now it's just the flu! *sniff sniff* Felt pretty happy today even though I was sick. And green bean soup totally made my day. Thank you! :)

All right, I better get back to work now!

posted by vivien at 10:44 PM
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Sunday, March 18, 2007

Before I know it, spring break is over! Arghh where has the one week gone to? So fast so fast! I don't want school to start again =( Ah well. Break was good though and I'm glad for the chance to rest, for once, with no classes and barely any work done.

It has been quite a weekend, hasn't it? (And I'm sure you will agree with me on this =p). Leaves me with a jumble of thoughts and feelings that I can't really make sense of and not knowing what to do about them. I guess, for now, I am really clueless viv :)

posted by vivien at 11:21 PM
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Thursday, March 15, 2007

Boston was fantastic! It was nice to spend three days there, away from the familiarity that is Pittsburgh and see new places for once. Great company too and the food was just yummy yummy yummy. Haha. We walked along Freedom Trail, visited Harvard (and its business school haha) and MIT, Prudential Tower and also Filene's Basement for a little bit of shopping. Had dim sum on Friday for lunch and seafood for dinners. The highlight was lobster on Saturday night at Legal Seafood, along with a bunch of mussels and shellfish, with each of us spending 50 bucks for the dinner itself! Sunday lunch at Penang was nice too. And Dunkin Donuts is just everywhere in Boston.

Spring break has been pretty all right. Have just been basically slacking around, trying to get myself to do things but not really succeeding, and playing tennis for the past few days. Weather has been incredibly warm for the past two days and I'm just glad for the warm weather. Dealing with internship stuff is really a pain and I need to decide soon whether to finish in 3 or 4 years. I keep on changing my mind. Maybe I should have a talk with my advisor.

Sigh. Think I should start on my work soon. But I still need more time for myself, to sort my thoughts out and think through things that have been going on, and to just sit down and finish reading the books that I've been wanting to read for a while.

Steadfastness, that is holding on;
Patience, that is holding back;

Expectancy, that is holding the face up;

Obedience, that is holding one's self in readiness to go or do;

Listening, that is holding quiet and still so as to hear



Boston skyline at night :)

posted by vivien at 12:10 AM
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Thursday, March 08, 2007

Finally, no more school, at least for the next 1.5 weeks! I have actually been in holiday mood since last Friday and this week just feels relatively slack for me, with no homeworks and only Personality midterm (which was just mcqs), plus no more mini class for me. It's a nice change really, from the past few weeks which have been really hectic for me.

And did I mention that I LOVE my econs class? I think the professor is just fantastic (or in someone's words, he is indeed a Goodfriend hahaha). Sure, I had thought that the midterm was rather silly (he gave us 19 quotes and we had to write the reading from which each is taken from and also the page number), but I really enjoy this class. This week, he gave us his take on last week's Shanghai stock market crash and on the investment banking world, which I thought was pretty interesting. He mentioned that it is difficult to be investment bankers because you really have to be two people at one time, putting up a nice facade (in his words, likes to drink wine), yet you have to be sharp and observant of others at the same time. And this made me think again about whether investment banking is really something that I want to do as a career. He also commented on why CEOs like playing golf haha. In a way, I think this class has made me interested in the subject again, after losing interest in it because the econs classes I've taken so far have not been that great. I seem to like my econs class much better than my math finance class and I've been thinking of doing something in econs for an internship perhaps, but I'm still not sure if I like so much theory. Ah well.

The two interviews I had this week went pretty smoothly, but will only be hearing back from them after spring break. Sure, the thought of not having anything to do still bothers me, but I should really stop complaining and whining about it. I guess I'll just see what happens from here. It has been a test of faith, but I'm sure that He will provide somehow. Preparing for possible interview questions also gave me a chance to reflect on who I am, my character, my future and as I looked through over the answers which I had written just a few months ago, I realized that I had different perspectives on the answers given. I thought a few of them didn't really reflect well of me anymore, and on a few others, I agreed with the answers more than I would have last time. In a way, I guess I've learned much more about myself these past few months (or maybe it's just maturity because I feel that I have had to learn to consider others' feelings before I say or do anything).

You know, I've wondered for some time why my mum has so much faith in me, with regards to my internship applications. She seems to have much more confidence than I myself do that I will be able to get something for the summer. One thing I realized is that I have not been trusting in God enough to still be doubting like this and I guess her faith is much stronger than mine. And another is that I have probably not given credit where it is due (like a few people have told me). I seem to be doubting my capability a lot (and worry unnecessarily as a result) and I guess it is time to be more confident in myself.

Talking to my mum has been a breath of fresh air, and she always manages to make me feel better after that, and I am really thankful for that. Oh well. And the thought of home still makes me want to cry these days. Why am I so weak inside? I don't think it's really homesickness (maybe it is to a certain extent) actually, but it is more of wanting to leave everything here and just go back home at this very moment, and give everyone home a big hug.

Weather has been very crazy again. It's back to the negative side for the better part of the week, and it is already March! It is supposed to be spring already, but why is it still so cold? Oh well. At least weather next week looks promising (i.e. tennis weather!). Haha. And daylight savings is going to start soon too.

Ah well..enough musings for the day I guess. Will be off to Boston for the weekend and I am really looking forward to the trip! Hopefully it will be a good break for all of us, with a change of environment too from rather dreary, dull (or insert another appropriate adjective) Pittsburgh. After all, I think all of us deserve a good break, after the past crazy eight weeks of school that have passed by in the blink of an eye.

posted by vivien at 5:57 PM
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Sunday, March 04, 2007

So my crazy week has ended and another week is about to begin. I must say the past week was better than expected. In fact, it went smoothly and I am very thankful for that. Did a bit of personality tests this past week too and the results were interesting, but I'm going to take them with a pinch of salt.

All this talk about relationships is making my head spin. I'm just going to stick to my own perspective. And I still think that matters of the heart are the most complicated. Oh well.

Last week of school before midsem cum spring break. No motivation at all to do work! Ever since Friday. Sigh. It's not as if I don't have stuff to do. I still have psych test on Wednesday, but no motivation at all! Someone please help to get me motivated haha. That being said, I'm looking forward to the break, and Boston!

Hearing my friends talk about having booked their tickets to go back during summer makes me wish that I can be back for summer too. I don't really want to be alone here during summer =( Oh well..nothing confirmed yet as of now. Guess I just have to see what happens with the 2 interviews tomorrow.

Everytime I think of home and family, tears well up in my eyes and I just feel like crying. I miss you guys so much! I know, I've been back every single break, and yet I'm still feeling homesick? I guess this is the part that I find hardest to get used to ever since I came here. Being away from home. I thought I would have no problem living away from home because I've done that before, but I was so wrong. And no matter how much I try to adapt to life here and treat this place like "home", it will never feel like home because, simply put, I still feel homesick.

I guess life has its own twists and turns and is full of little ironies. And I think I should have more confidence in myself.

"Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus." (1 Thessalonians 5:16-18)

posted by vivien at 11:42 PM
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