It's been quite a week back in NYC/Pitts. Interviewing in the City was quite an experience. I think being in New York for interviews is already a different experience cos well, I didn't really get much chance to sight-see or shop this time. Interviews were okay, though I was bombarded with lots of math/prob/finance questions (2 out of 3 interviews were all math questions only!), but I think I did all right. And then went for a tour of Deutsche Bank trading floor, which left me feeling both very impressed and intimidated at the same time. I quite like being in NYC, which seems to always be bustling with people and things to do, and just the general feeling of everyone doing his/her own thing. And the NYC skyline looks so gorgeous at sunset (as seen from the airplane window). Pity I was too lazy to take out my camera and snap a picture of it.
Being back in Pittsburgh after that was a totally different feeling too. CMU is like so dead, with hardly anybody around. And yeah, it feels weird to be hanging out with so few people (only Aaron and Jiaqi were there) when you are used to hanging out with more people. Managed to watch Charlotte's Web with Aaron on Saturday. I had read the book and the movie was pretty nice and touching (though I guess I still prefer the book).
So Christmas came and went by just like that. It feels a bit odd that Christmas is over already, after hearing Christmas songs and just anticipating Christmas itself for the past month. Granted, I spent Christmas on the plane, but it left me feeling indifferent to the whole thing (after complaining for the past month about having to spend it on the plane haha). And to me, going back home always seems to bring about a sense of closure to the semester, but this time it feels different, just for the fact that not many CMU people are going back this time, and it is just so weird not seeing you guys around.
Anyway, I better get back to packing to go back to Indo. Leaving in about 1 hour's time! I am really traveling a lot huh. Well, hope you guys have had a Merry Merry Christmas and have a nice Boxing Day! (Which reminds me, EPL matches tonight!)
I found it quite amazing that I can navigate around the streets very easily, know the directions and stuff so well, even though it's only my second time here! It feels like the place has become almost too familiar, and I'm not really sure whether that's a good or bad thing. What's certain is that the novelty of the experience of being in the City itself has disappeared. Now, it's more like "been there, done that" kind of feeling. And if I had thought that New York lived up to its expectations when I came here the first time, that impression has changed. Now, I think it's less glam than what people make it out to be. Oh well. The second time here also brought about a sense of deja vu. When the plane was about to land just now, I could spot the trademark globe at Flushing Meadows and Arthur Ashe and the other tennis courts, which brought back memories of watching US Open. Ah..it seems like ages ago! Yet not really that long ago.
I realize New York is such a diverse place! And the realization really hit you when you come out from the airport and hear all the different languages and accents around you. Even in Pittsburgh, you mostly hear people speak in English, but here it is completely different.
Went to Rockefeller Center just now and it is such a different sight from Rockefeller Center in summer. The huge Chrismas tree and the ice-skating rink. Met up with the Europe CMU bunch (mingwei, jessica, zhengheng and moss) and somehow, meeting them helped me to feel less nervous about being here by myself. Some form of familiarity in a somewhat unfamiliar surrounding, and I was really thankful for that. After we went our separate ways (they had to return to JFK), I met my cousin for dinner. Just like last time too haha.
Anyway, I am really happy that finals are over! Such a huge relief, though I have had to prepare for interviews (but not really preparing that thoroughly too..I mean, it's after finals and I just want to relax!). I have had a fantastic weekend, basically just chilling out with friends, playing tennis (yes..in winter!), mahjong, watching "Devil Wears Prada" and Survivor finale, cookout with delicious food, etc. And I really had a great time just relaxing and finally taking a break. Not forgetting supper on Monday night (leftover pizza and root beer float!). You guys may not know it, but after that, I felt much better after having ranting about how scared I was and how I did not want to come here. So thank you for that :)
It feels a bit weird being here by myself and I really miss the company of friends around me. Ah well. Wonder how the next two days will turn out. Hope I will be able to survive the two days in Manhattan!
You get your fill to eat but always keep that hunger
May you never take one single breath for granted
God forbid love ever leave you empty-handed
I hope you still feel small when you stand beside the ocean
Whenever one door closes, I hope one more opens
Promise me that you'll give faith a fighting chance
And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance
I hope you dance, I hope you dance
I hope you never fear those mountains in the distance
Never settle for the path of least resistance
Living might mean taking chances, but they're worth taking
Loving might be a mistake, but it's worth making
Don't let some hell-bent heart leave you bitter
When you come close to selling out, reconsider
Give the heavens above more than just a passing glance
And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance
I hope you dance, I hope you dance
I hope you dance, I hope you dance
(Time is a wheel in constant motion, always rolling us along
Tell me who wants to look back on their years
And wonder, where those years have gone)
I hope you still feel small when you stand beside the ocean
Whenever one door closes, I hope one more opens
Promise me that you'll give faith a fighting chance
And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance
Dance, I hope you dance
I hope you dance, I hope you dance
I hope you dance, I hope you dance
(Time is a wheel in constant motion, always rolling us along
Tell me who wants to look back on their years
And wonder, where those years have gone)
2 more finals to go for tomorrow (probability and macroecons) and I have not started studying for them yet! Okay, I have only done the prac paper for macro, but I think I'm really taking them very lightly! Ugh..not good. Especially for probability, which is like so hard. Argh..need motivation!
Can't wait for tomorrow! After that, it will be a relaxing weekend, though I do have to prepare for next week's interviews. Wonder how three interviews in one day will turn out..hopefully, not too tough! And I hope I don't get cold feet at the last minute about going to new york by myself.
I miss my silly two little brothers so so much. Even though they are so capable of ganging up together against me and bullying me now. Bleah. But still, I think they have grown up so much. I was pleasantly surprised when I found out from my mum that they were in Singapore by themselves for two weeks, and yes, they did all the cooking and the other household chores themselves. And my brother made me crave for pempek when he told me that he was going to cook that for lunch. Well, soon, soon, I'll get to go back and eat all the good food!
I better get back to studying now, especially since I'm gonna watch Survivor later..
I believe in mind over matter
I believe in the human spirit to prevail
I believe in miracles and blessings, both great and small
I believe in possibilities
I believe that hurdles in life are meant to be jumped over, not as something to stop us
Something inspirational during the finals week. I have decided to take the accounting make-up final, hopefully I made the right decision. The only thing that was bugging me about the make-up final is that it is going to be on the first Friday of the semester. Oh well..I guess it is a sacrifice I have to make (for not being able to manage my time well?) But I think it's better that way.
And regretting the things that went on
Life's full of mistakes, destinies and fate
Remove the clouds, look at the bigger picture
And all that you see is me
And all I truly believe
That I was born to try
I've learned to love
Be understanding
And believe in life
But you've got to make choices
Be wrong or right
Sometimes you've got to sacrifice the things you like
But I was born to try
The weekend is here! I'm having mixed feelings about it. On one hand, I can say that classes are finally over and it's one week of exams left, but I am not really looking forward to the amount of work I have to do over the weekend and for next week. Well, I'm not that stressed now as I was a few days ago (perhaps all that ranting has taken its toll haha), but like I told a friend, I'm just gonna take it day by day and see how it goes. It is the last leg..I shall not give up!
A few people have told me that I have looked really happy and been smiling a lot over the past week. Really meh? But well, when someone told me that he likes to see me smiling cos it makes him happy, that brightened up my day. Haha.
Anyway, I've been listening to LOTS of Christmas songs lately. Getting into the Christmas spirit finally. I like listening to Christmas songs..somehow they make me happy.
All I want for Christmas is to spend it with my family and friends. Is that too much to ask for? Oh well.
Shall sleep now, cos Manchester derby is early tomorrow morning!
I'm just really really STRESSED right now, and I think it has sadly brought out the worst side in me. No use complaining right? But it is so hard not to complain. SIGH again. I hope (and I stress the word hope) I will be able to survive the coming week, with so many many things to do, that I am left again with a familiar dilemma: Too many things to do, but not enough time. Of course, it would help if I actually do something about it, but even when I have actually started doing the things I need to do, I still get a helpless feeling.
Homework due this Friday, five finals to sit for next week (3 in the first two days), 2 internship essays and a cover letter to write, and games for end-of-sem dinner to prepare for. I have no idea how to go about prioritizing the things I need to do. And internship essays are deceivingly simple to write, but to actually start writing them is difficult. (besides, I haven't written essays for some time now). All this is making me consider taking the late final for accounting (no clue what is going on in class), but the late final is only held on the first Friday of the spring semester. (Hmm..should I really take the late final?)
Well, not everything has been that bad I guess. MU won today after being a goal down, which totally brightened my day, after I was told I could not reschedule one of my finals and getting back a test which I thought I had screwed up badly and actually ended up doing worse than expected.
I got the TA job for matrix algebra next semester, so I am really happy about that. But that means I have to do 15 hours of extra work on my own too (based on the TA test result I got). Well, I guess it doesn't matter since being a TA is something I have been wanting to do for some time.
I was selected by Barclays for their interview in New York. You know, I find it kind of interesting that the interviews I have gotten are for trading positions next summer. I really really cannot imagine myself being a trader. I mean, a trader is supposed to be someone who is aggressive, gung-ho, decisive (able to make decisions on the spot) and able to work well under pressure, but I don't think any of the above applies to me. Haha. And I am also having second thoughts about which program area I should apply for SEO. Originally, I had put Corporate Finance, but the more I think about it, the more I think Corporate Finance is not very applicable to comp finance people. Maybe Sales & Trading or Research (which are the other 2 areas offered under IB) would be more appropriate.
I watched two movies last Saturday - School of Rock and Love Actually. Both are movies which I have wanted to watch for quite some time, but have not gotten a chance to. And both are pretty darn good! I especially love "Love Actually" and the tagline love is actually all around. But watching the movie made me miss home terribly and made me even more sad that I will not be home for Christmas. (Well, I should probably stop complaining about spending Christmas on the plane).
And yes, I am horribly homesick now and it seems that the more the going gets tough, the more I feel homesick. Which is not good. I can't wait for next Friday to come, when I will be done with all the schoolwork and internship applications!
The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not be in want
He makes me lie down in green pastures, he leads me beside quiet waters,
He restores my soul. He guides me in paths of righteousness for His name's sake.
Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for You are with me; Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me.
You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies. You anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows.
Surely goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever.
This famous psalm never fails to inspire and comfort me. So it's 9 days to next Friday, and 18 days to going back. I hope I will be able to hang on till then..
Under Your wings
Cover me
Within Your mighty hand
When the oceans rise and thunders roar
I will soar with You above the storm
Father You are king over the flood
I will be still and know You are God
Find rest my soul
In Christ alone
Know His power
In quietness and trust
When the oceans rise and thunders roar
I will soar with You above the storm
Father You are king over the flood
I will be still and know You are God
I just finished the last 2 peanut butter + chocolate chip cookies and I had ice-cream this afternoon. I am so eating a lot nowadays! And never exercised today too! Missed playing tennis because of homework :( Which is a real pity because the weather ain't gonna be so warm anymore. Played squash yesterday though, and it was pretty tiring, definitely more tiring than tennis! May have to play squash more often now that the weather is getting cold.
Survivor just now was one of the best I have ever watched. The tribal council was so hilarious, with people making faces all the time. Hehe.
I'm listening to Josh Groban, Delta Goodrem and Westlife a lot nowadays. No idea why. And I have also just charged my ipod nano! Will be using my nano from now onwards because I think the battery for my ipod mini is getting rather wonky.
Internship essays not started yet. And I so do not want to think about them right now. Will probably be doing them over the weekend, and I also have to study for discrete-time finance test over the weekend. I am so gonna have such a great weekend! (Why am I complaining about the weekend even before the week has ended? Well, why am I complaining about weekend in the first place? Ah well whatever).
Talked to one of my HC friends whom I haven't talked to in a long while. He said he hasn't talked to me because my nick often gives the impression that I'm busy (really meh?). But well, it's good to know someone who is also doing math finance!! I don't know if you are still reading this, but thank you for all your encouragements! All the best for your research too.
I keep on looking at Vegas photos for some strange reason. It's like I cannot stop looking at them (granted, the captions never fail to crack me up! and I never knew marshmallows are not spelled as "marshmellows" oops...) But I guess I really do miss Vegas, or more specifically, holidaying and traveling, and not having to go to school.
And something that has finally dawned on me is that I am feeling very homesick all over again. I haven't felt very homesick throughout the semester, but now, I cannot stop thinking of holidays, of going back, of home. Sigh..I really do miss home and just thinking about it really makes me want to cry (okay, I shall not try to be a crybaby...). I wish I can be home right now and not have to deal with school anymore! Ah well. I wonder how people can go through one year without going back because I don't think I can. Or maybe I'm just not good in overcoming homesickness.
Well, I guess I should resume doing work again if I don't want to sleep late.