Sunday, October 31, 2004
Reading Football Funnies on MU website makes me laugh. The quotes are just so lame! And yes I'm feeling better after last night. Anyway I was super late for church today cos I couldn't wake up. I don't know what I was doing last night, wasting my precious sleeping time away. I promised myself that I would go to sleep once I finished blogging, but instead I got carried away reading the Singapore Idol forum. Well I can't afford to waste time now. I've wasted the entire day away. Tried to study but failed miserably. Must be focused. Must be motivated. Must be disciplined.
Anyway, talking about church, my brother and I couldn't get seats just now because we were so late. The place was surprisingly packed. And sunday school class.. there are more and more people coming each week. Today, there were like about 20+ people. Went to register for church camp just now. Hopefully it'll be fun.
I promised myself not to watch OC anymore because I still've lots of episodes I haven't watched and with new ones coming, don't think I'll be able to watch them all. But guess what.. I'm also starting to watch Top Model. This is bad.
And now back to studying...
posted by vivien at 7:37 AM
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Saturday, October 30, 2004
I'm v v upset. MU lost 0-2 Portsmouth. I mean, after beating Arsenal last week and ending their unbeaten streak, I would've thought that MU would build on that win and cut the gap. Now they're 9 pts behind. V disappointing. And Arsenal didn't lose at all.. they scored a last-minute equaliser in like near the end of injury time. Sigh. It has really been a roller-coaster week, hasn't it? It started off well enough with MU winning and me getting through Physics prac, but it's ended on a sour note with me screwing up QA and MU losing. Oh well.. that's just how much impact soccer has on my mood. Wonder how I'm gonna study if I'm so sad. Well.. think I better go sleep now or else I can't wake up for church later. I'll sleep away all the misery and hopefully, wake up feeling better. I mean... it's only soccer.. I must get back to reality, which is A levels, like..gasp..4 days' time.
posted by vivien at 1:45 PM
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Thursday, October 28, 2004
QA today was horrible! I was quite upset after chem prac just now, but thankfully, I feel better now. I was probably upset because I couldn't get the decolourisation of KMnO4 whereas everyone else could. Obviously, I got the next few parts wrong as well (the potassium dichromate and iodine parts). And I was silly enough not to write SO2 gas for the last part even though I smelt the gas (because I really went to smell the boiling tube). Instead, I just left that part blank. Oh well.. at least I think I did OK for the other 2 questions. And I finished... so should be better than prelims.
Anyway I think it's been quite a roller-coaster week for me. Well, other than chem prac, I had to rewrite my application essay which totally frustrated me. And it doesn't help either that I'm studying so so slowly; it's really embarrassing. But on the flip side, at least now I'm done with that application. My SAT score was also much better than I expected.
And of course, MU beat Arsenal! MU is the first team to beat Arsenal in 50 games! And nothing can beat that!
posted by vivien at 9:48 AM
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Friday, October 22, 2004
It's been 3 hours and I still can't access my SAT score yet. Website is still full of traffic. I really can't stand this! Anyway I don't know if it's a coincidence... I wanted to vote for Maia during the advert right before the lines were closed because I really had a bad feeling. I pressed 4 but by the time I wanted to send it the lines were closed. Haha. And I think I've really jinxed my brother. It seems that whenever I stand and watch him play CM, he always concedes goal and loses the match.
It's really amazing how seemingly trivial matters can really make a huge difference to my day.
posted by vivien at 1:10 PM
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I'm super annoyed. I wanted to vote for Maia this morning cos I had a feeling that she might get eliminated but I didn't. And look what happened. Can't stand Leandra's attitude. And what's more irritating is that I can't access my SAT score now apparently cos of high traffic. And I can't stand to wait.
posted by vivien at 9:06 AM
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Monday, October 18, 2004
WELCOME TO MY LIFE (Simple Plan)
Do you ever feel like breaking down
Do you ever feel out of place
Like somehow you just don't belong
And no one understands you
Do you ever wanna run away
Do you lock yourself in your room
With the radio on turned up so loud
That no one hears you screaming
No you don't know what it's like
When nothing feels all right
No you don't know what it's like to be like me
To be hurt to feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked when you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
But no one's there to save you
No you don't know what it's like
Welcome to my life
Do you wanna be somebody else
Are you sick of feeling so left out
Are you desperate to find something more
Before your life is over
Are you stuck inside a world you hate
Are you sick of everyone around
With the big fake smiles and stupid lies
While deep inside you're bleeding
No you don't know what it's like
When nothing feels all right
No you don't know what it's like to be like me
To be hurt to feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked when you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
But no one's there to save you
No you don't know what it's like
Welcome to my life
No one ever lied straight to your face
And no one ever stabs you in the back
You might think I'm happy but I'm not gonna be okay
Everybody always gave you what you wanted
You never had to work, it was always there
You don't know what it's like, what it's like
To be hurt to feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked when you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
But no one's there to save you
No you don't know what it's like
To be hurt to feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked when you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
But no one's there to save you
No you don't know what it's like
Welcome to my life
Welcome to my life
Welcome to my life
Got back Maths S today. I failed..as expected..44. The teacher wrote 54. I was quite shocked at first. Turned out she calculated wrongly. But the paper is not even counted. Anyway, once we got back our papers, the teachers told us to go home. Didn't even go through the paper. And made us go back to school at 12! Luckily I had to go to school to certify my stuff. If not I'd have been going back to school for only five minutes. I don't know why, but I found the whole thing amusing.
Anyway, I've been wanting to run for so long, but I haven't yet. Feel super lazy. This is bad.
posted by vivien at 7:40 AM
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Sunday, October 17, 2004
Feeling much better now after I had a breakdown, well sort of, midweek. I'd like to think that I've gotten over my results but I don't think I have. Being a perfectionist, I hate such failures and they really hurt me. Well now, the results don't really hurt so much anymore. I mean... I realise that I can't brood over my results forever. I'll have to move on sooner or later. I'll probably have to move on now and work hard for my A levels. If I do well for A levels, I'll obviously not be disappointed anymore. But if I flunk again, then it'll be double disappointment for me. And I certainly won't want that to happen.
Anyway, I'm disappointed MU drew a game they were supposed to win. I mean they played all 4 strikers and still could not score a goal. Pathetic. Coming up next is Arsenal.. who're to extend their unbeaten record to 50 games. Apparently, both Arsene Wenger and Alex Ferguson have written off MU's chances of winning the title. But I'm still hopeful. Friday will be Wenger's birthday and next Sunday, the match day, will be Wayne Rooney's birthday...
posted by vivien at 1:29 AM
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Wednesday, October 13, 2004
Sigh.. I just feel so lousy right now. I don't even know whether I'm doing the right things applying to Stanford and all the other schools, looking at my lousy Prelim grades. I feel so inferior. Well I guessed it was all my fault. Don't know what the future will hold for me. All I can do I suppose is just do my best for the A levels and leave everything in His hands. Hope I won't worry too much.
posted by vivien at 5:31 AM
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Tuesday, October 12, 2004
Wimbledon
Watched Wimbledon today with Shuping. The movie is very romantic and funny, well it's after all a romantic comedy; I'm so glad I watched the movie. Makes me feel inspired to train hard for tennis again. And I didn't know that tennis players are so superstitious. I want to go to London to watch Wimbledon and maybe see Andy Roddick wins some day haha. Or the US Open..don't mind that either. Anyway, the movie is like my last movie before the A levels. Sigh..getting more and more stressed now. I haven't started studying yet; promised myself to start really soon but don't know when because I'm still busy with applications. They're driving me nuts. I was so glad I finished my Stanford essays. At least one's done. Hopefully, I can complete the rest after A levels.
posted by vivien at 7:07 AM
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Saturday, October 09, 2004
I've just written the first paragraph of my Stanford essay. I still have no idea how I'm going to continue with the rest of the essay. Anyway, a man from StarHub just came over moments ago. He was supposed to install the cable tv. I was really surprised cos I'd thought all along that she never wanted cable tv. My mum wasn't at home so I called her. Turned out she'd actually cancelled the appointment. My brother and I were so tempted to tell the person to just go ahead and install the cable tv. Haha but being the good children that we are, we decided not to. But I'm probably going to complain to my mum later haha.
Anyway had SAT II Writing today. Didn't really have much time to study for it, but I'm just really thankful that the essay topic was easier than the one in June. Hopefully I didn't write out of point. The grammar part was a little tricky but I thought I did ok, so I guess I'll just see my score in 2 weeks' time. Actually, I was just quite relieved that I wasn't late for the test. I was supposed to be at the test center at 8, but I woke up at like 7.30. I don't recall hearing my alarm clock but my maid said she heard my alarm clock, so I must've turned it off and slept on for another hour. Thank goodness the center is near my house. Took a cab there and by the time I came, most of the people were already there. This is the second time this week that I'd really overslept. On Monday, I was supposed to go to school at 8 for Econs lesson, but I woke up at 7.50. Had to rush all the way to school in cab. Can't believe I've wasted so much money on cab fare this week just because I'd overslept.
I watched the Apprentice episode that I taped on Thursday just now. I think the show's really cool! Like the final 2 contestants got to each manage a golf tournament and Jessica Simpson concert. I'm really going to miss the show after it ends next week! Talking about another tv show, Singapore Idol, well what can I say? The moment I stopped voting for David (voted for him last week), he got out. Oh well.. I'm really looking forward to finding out who'll be the winner cos I don't think anyone really stands out right now, but my favourites are Sly (not with the blonde hair!) and Maia.
Anyway I know I'm going to have to start my revision really soon. Others have already started like last week. I'm going to study really hard and conquer the A levels. New resolve: 4As.
Ok now back to my essay...
posted by vivien at 3:34 AM
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Thursday, October 07, 2004
Well I've been thinking ’bout the future
I'm too young to pretend
It’s such a waste to always look behind you
You should be looking straight ahead
--Move On (Jet)
posted by vivien at 5:37 AM
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This week's just been really horrible for me. Got back physics today... sigh got a D. And I was expecting to get at least a C since I thought that physics was much much better than chem. Turns out that I just need 2 more marks to get a C for both prelim and overall. And what hurts is that I made so many unbeliveably silly mistakes. Like using correction tape for just 1 number, not calculating the final answer after I've put in all the numbers into the equation, not finishing prac cos I didn't know that I'd a few more minutes left, cancelling correct answers (did that for at least 3 qns). I feel so lousy. But I guess the main problem was that again I didn't prepare well enough. It's entirely my own fault. It probably would have been an injustice if I'd gotten higher. Maybe I should be thankful that I didn't get lower than what I've gotten. But how am I supposed to apply using such lousy grades I have? I'm trying to cheer myself up and not be so upset about it, but it's not really working so far cos everytime I think about the future and about what could've been and the disappointment that must've been felt by my parents, I can't help but just feel like crying and escaping from this world. But obviously that's not an option. I'll just pray that God will give me the strength to carry on and not brood over all the disappointments I've had. I'll just trust in God cos well, everything is in His hands. I just hope I can learn from past mistakes and do better in A levels. Which is easier said than done cos I don't seem to have the motivation to study anymore. But I must must must somehow motivate myself. Next up is SAT II on Saturday. I must really forget about all my results and concentrate on improving my score.
Thanks to sinhui and ailian for having tried to cheer me up and helping me to get more marks.
posted by vivien at 5:19 AM
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Tuesday, October 05, 2004
Sigh..what can I say? Got back chem today. Didn't expect to get so low. But I probably deserve it. Didn't prepare so well. To know that I could've done much better and that I've fallen short...it sucks. Well I guess there's no use regretting over what's been done. I just have to move on. Feeling slightly better now after talking to some friends.. thanks to you all for having cheered me up and putting up with all my crap.
posted by vivien at 2:06 AM
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Saturday, October 02, 2004
Well.. think everyone was quite shocked that jeassea got eliminated. I was too but sometimes things can be very unpredictable I suppose. Anyway got back math and econs this week. I'm quite happy with my results, especially for econs. Obviously I could've done better had I been more well-prepared, but I'm just really really thankful for my results. Next week: Chem and Physics. I'm especially scared for chem, but I'll just leave everything in His hands.
I really hate the post-prelim's timetable. I mean this week we just go to school for like 1 hour plus it's really not worth it. And next week we end school at like 4 on some days and start at like 12. So irritating! And next week I must study for writing and we end school late. Oh well.
I sometimes don't like the fact that I get very easily distracted by things. Happen quite a few times this week. Wanted to exercise a bit but then I always ended up in front of the computer. Happen while I'm studying too. I always either end up watching tv, sitting in front of the com or reading newspaper. Maybe that's why I take so long to study; I waste a lot of my time away. Really need to be more focused and disciplined when doing things so that I can finish doing them faster.
posted by vivien at 10:22 AM
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