That aside, I'm left with tons of homework to do. Did programming the entire day yesterday and managed to finish the assignment (8 hrs of programming!!). Basically, I'm left with a lot of catch-up to do and many many readings (sianz). Especially for history. Bleah. Shall not complain. I know that if I'm serious about doing work, I can really really sit down and concentrate haha. So, for this week, I hope I'll be able to manage my time well and clear up as much work as possible. And also sleep more. I've been sleeping for 4 hours only last week, so I'm feeling more tired now if I sleep more haha.
Anyway, there've just been so many emotions and so many thoughts that ran through my head these past few days. Can't really describe what I'm feeling also cos well, I don't really know. Maybe I'm feeling jaded and all, but don't really know why either. I guess maybe I'm really stressed, bogged down by a lot of stuff and all. But I don't think it's just that. There's something else, which I really really can't describe. Maybe I've become more pensive and thought deeper on a lot of stuff? Maybe I'm starting to feel that bout of homesickness again? I don't know.
It feels weird to spend cny being away from my family. Well, this year, my parents decided that they (along with my brothers) should go to my grandparents' house for cny. We live in Jakarta, and my relatives are mostly in Surabaya (for my dad's side) and Malang (for my mum's side), so cny reunions are usually spent with my parents and brothers alone. But this year, they spent it with other relatives and all, and I missed out on it. I don't usually see my relatives that often cos well..they're just in different places, but being so far away from home made me realize that I'm going to see them even less. Hearing my friends' stories about having reunion with all their relatives just made me more sad. Cos well.. I can't really recall having a cny reunion with my relatives. I guess you can say that it's not the timing that's important, but what's more important is that you can still gather together as one big family. Well I mean I still have family reunions and all, just maybe not during cny, but still, being here means that I'll probably miss a few family gatherings. I know that I'm already going to miss my cousin's wedding in June.
Just now during lunch, I saw a few kids having lunch with their dad. And just looking at them laughing and enjoying themselves somehow brought tears to my eyes. I know it's kind of weird, but looking at them somehow made me want to be a child all over again. I guess I really miss childhood, the innocence and carefree-ness of it all. It's funny how when I was a child, I used to want to grow up really fast, to get out of school (cos I didn't really like studying haha) so that I can work and don't have to study anymore. Looking back, all that seems rather silly now. It was as if I had nothing much to worry about, except for school probably. But now that I'm all grown up, it feels different. Not that I don't like to be grown-up, but it's just so difficult to be a grown-up. So many responsibilities, so many things to think about and to do, so many tricky situations to handle, etc etc. And I guess I've realized the world is not what I used to make it out to be. And I guess I'm scared of the big world out there. And of growing up and being an adult. It's just too fast. I don't want it. But it's inevitable.
Oh and not forgetting that MU also beat Liverpool 1-0! Woo hoo! Last-minute winner haha. So MU has ended the winning streaks of Arsenal, Chelsea and now, Liverpool huh? Impressive! Haha.
Went to Strip District (the Chinatown here, but doesn't feel like Chinatown at all to me) to get cny decor this afternoon, but didn't really buy much cos most of the shops were closed. But overall, it's been a good day, save for programming homework. The extra credit part is driving me nuts haha, but think I managed to do quite a bit today. Hmm..ok..back to doing more work. Sigh haha. But despite the overwhelming work, I feel a bit high (caffeine perhaps??). Whee!! Hahaha.
This is the second week I'm not going to church, and I'm definitely feeling guilty. I mean, it's definitely my own fault that I slept very very late on both Saturdays and couldn't wake up in time for church. Not doing quiet time regularly either. This has to change. And I will go to church next Sunday. That's a promise.
It's only the first week and yet, it's already so overwhelming. I feel I'm barely coping with stuff and frankly, I feel like I'm driving myself crazy. Luckily, I've friends here who can cheer me up and help me out, who can brighten my days and make me laugh (really really laugh) when I do need them. Without them, I'm quite sure life here would be miserable. So thanks to you guys (you know who you are).
Highlight of the week: Playing munchkins and bridge till 4am on Friday night/Saturday morning with jessica, xinghao, jiaqi, mingwei and aaron. It was really crazy, but I had a lot of fun. We should do that sometime again next time! And the 4 guys did a lot of Russell Peters spoofs. Oh man it was so so funny; couldn't stop laughing haha.
I guess it's moments like these that I will always remember and cherish. You go to school to gain knowledge and stuff, but you aren't gonna remember what you've studied for long. Once studied, mostly forgotten. But it is times spent with friends, those laughters, jokes, things you did with them or talked to them about - these are the times that you're gonna remember more and cherish them and store them as memories, beautiful memories. And yes, if you ask me 4 years down the road, after I've graduated, what I remember most about my uni life, I'll probably answer the friends I've made and the good times I've had with them. Sure, I may also sing praises about the courses I've taken, the profs, the school campus, etc, but the friends I've made are what I'll remember most. And on this note, I hope that we can remain as friends, as close as we are now, for next year (cos we're not sure yet where we'll be living next year..) and the years after, even after we go our separate ways and lead our own lives after uni.
FIXING A BROKEN HEART (Indecent Obsession)
There was nothing to say the day you left
I just filled a suitcase full of regrets
I hailed a taxi in the rain
Looking for some place to ease the pain
Then like an answered prayer
I turned around and found you there
You really know where to start
Fixing a broken heart
You really know what to do
Your emotional tools can't cure any fool
Whose dreams have fallen apart
Fixing a broken heart
And now I don't understand what I'm going through
Must be a plan that led me to you
Because the hurt just disappears
In every moment that you are near
Just like an answered prayer
You make the loneliness easy to bear
You really know where to start
Fixing a broken heart
You really know what to do
Your emotional tools can't cure any fool
Whose dreams have fallen apart
Fixing a broken heart
Soon the rain will stop falling baby
And I'll forget the past
Cause here we are at last
You really know where to start
Fixing a broken heart
You really know what to do
Your emotional tools can't cure any fool
Whose dreams have fallen apart
Fixing a broken heart
I just hope I will be able to enjoy this sem with all the workload and other stuff, like ACF and cell. And I wanna be able to do things to slack as well, like watching Friends/OC/Desperate Housewives, or exercising. And doing quiet time regularly. Right now, I haven't been able to do any of the above. But I guess it's a matter of time management huh. Something which I'm very bad at and will definitely have to be better in. I guess if you manage your time well, you should be able to finish your schoolwork and do other things that you really want to do as well. But if your time management sucks (like mine), you always find yourself swamped in schoolwork all the time (and very last-minute too), or other commitments. It doesn't help that I'm easily distracted too. Like talking on msn while I'm supposed to be doing homework. Sigh..guess I gotta buck up huh. Better time management..something that's been one of my new year resolutions for the past few years and which I've never really accomplished. Hope that will change this year.
Anyway, yesterday, during my psych freshman sem, the prof asked us to introduce ourselves and give a little background, like your major and where you come from. And I said, I was from Singapore. Yes, Singapore. Not Indonesia. I guess it's something that's been bugging me for a while. When people ask me which one I consider more as my home, I've always said I don't know. Well, maybe Indonesia, cos I mean that was where I was born. I'd always refer to Indonesia as "back home" and Singapore as just well..Singapore. But I'm really really not sure. During the winter break, I was practically slacking in Indonesia, and in Singapore, I was going out almost every other day with friends. I guess it's very hard to decide between two places - one where your family is, and the other where most of your friends are. And at some point, I will have to decide where I would want to live, work and settle down. Personally, I'd thought of working in US for a while, but I'm really not sure now. After just 1 sem here and being so homesick, I think I'd rather live somewhere close to my family and friends. Uncertainties uncertainties uncertainties. I guess I'll see what plans God have in store for me.
Sometimes, I'm not sure whether I'd have been better off if there weren't so many big changes in my life. Indonesia, Singapore, US. For my brothers too. Studying overseas means that you'll be away from your family and relatives and sometimes I wish that hadn't happened. Frankly, I hardly see my dad nowadays and I'm not close to him at all, which is really sad. And what about cny reunion? It's supposed to be a reunion with all your relatives, isn't it? But that rarely happens. Not possible when your relatives are also all over the place. Sigh.
On a lighter note, it feels good to be hanging out with them again. With jessica, xinghao, jiaqi and mingwei. We watched another Russell Peters clip, this time when he was in New York, on Monday night, and it was hilarious. Especially the last part, when he did a spoof on Bollywood movies. Haha couldn't stop laughing.
On a more serious note, I realize I'm a very judgemental person. I tend to pick out little flaws in people, from the little things they do or say. And that definitely has to stop.
I think I should start doing work now. I can foresee another late night haha. I've been sleep-deprived..sort of. And yikes, just saw the scratches on my knee from falling down while running last Sat. They look gross!
And new favorite song (courtesy of ktv last thurs): Fixing A Broken Heart. Nice song with beautiful lyrics.
Had a great time today at Waterfront, trying on different hats and sunglasses haha, and did a bit of grocery shopping. After dinner, went to watch a rather stupid movie called Kung Pao. Stupidest movie I've ever seen, but I had a great time laughing. Seriously, the spoofs and lines and the things they did were just so spastic haha.
I'm still trying to get used to US time again. Woke up very late today at 2 and that was cos Jessica woke me up. If not, I would probably have continued sleeping haha. I hope I've recovered from jet lag. And I'm feeling very very hungry, at 1.30am in the morning, probably cos it's lunchtime back home? Oh well..feeling really really hyper, but I know I should be sleeping soon. 830am class! Good thing is that it's only going to be a half-day..no classes after 12.30! :)
It feels weird to be back and to see everyone again. I don't know why, but maybe I'm missing home too much? I think I got homesick almost immediately the moment the plane left Changi, but I'm trying to get over it. And now, must start to get used to all the usual types of corny/lame comments again haha. And yes, I guess I just can't believe that school is starting so soon. Someone commented during dinner that it was one month ago we were studying for finals, yet it didn't seem like that long ago. Oh well.. after all we're already 2 weeks into the new year, yet I still don't feel like it's a new year at all
I think my mind is not in the right frame tonight (specifically during dinner). Either that or I've had an overdose of songs. When Jessica commented that time really flies, I suddenly thought of "flying without wings" (erm..). And somehow, for no reason at all, the song title "stand by me" suddenly flashed across my mind, which caused me to make THAT comment. Oops..
Okay, better go back to unpacking. I can't stand the mess in the room, so I probably should do something about it..
On a lighter note, I guess I've had a fantastic time here, albeit it feels too short and too fast. Had a great time ktv-ing yesterday and yes, I still found it quite amazing that I can sing Chinese songs too. (Jessica, we must somehow ktv over there haha). Made another breakfast date, and I hope this time, I'll be able to keep it. And then met up with Shuping too, and made a Wimbledon/US Open date. Haha looking forward to it!
I realize the closer I am to leaving, the more I learn to cherish things that I know I won't be able to find there. Like food. My mum cooked for me Indonesian food for dinner last night (had my favorite mpek mpek fried with egg..yummy!) and lunch just now, and she bought me Crystal Jade roast duck and carrot cake for dinner tonight :) Somehow, last week, I didn't really feel the need to eat all those food that I know I won't be able to eat for a long period of time, but the last few days, I suddenly thought of a list of such foods and I realize that I really really gotta eat them somehow, sometime before I leave.
I guess it's sort of the same thing with people too, isn't it? You don't really know how much your family and friends mean to you until you aren't around them for a period of time. The thing is, it's inevitable that they probably will move on with their lives without you, but I really hope that when I come back next time, things will still be like what they used to be. However, speaking from personal experiences, I know that that will be quite difficult.
I think I should get back to packing again. It'll be a long 27 hours journey in total, including transit time, of which I probably need a few hours to do my homework haha. So I guess it'll be hello Pittsburgh in 1.5 days' time! And see you all there!
This taken from my friend's nick: Life is bittersweet. How true how true.
I was supposed to do packing just now, but was too tired to pack. Actually, I've no idea what to pack. I just dumped stuff that I think I may need, mostly clothes. And I think I'm actually going to bring more stuff than I brought back. Hopefully, the bags aren't going to be too heavy. At least I've finished transferring songs, from the desktop that is. Still have to sort out my own CDs as well. Sigh.
I suddenly had second thoughts about dropping accounting. Mingwei said it's a free A. Hmm..maybe I'll just crash the first few lessons and see how they're like. I was actually thinking of taking this mentoring/peer tutoring course for overloading, but it's early on Tuesday morning, and I want to keep my Tuesday mornings free :) Or I may just decide to take piano lessons. Which reminds me, I haven't really played piano since I'm back. Such a waste. And I can't find my scores too. The thing is, I don't want to be caught up too much in my studies. I want to be doing other things too other than that.
Tomorrow will be the last day I'm going to go out. Meeting with Ai Lian and Sin Hui for ktv, then meeting Shuping after that. I'll probably be doing last-minute packing on Friday. Sigh. It's just so fast. I can't believe that I'm actually going to go back already. It feels too short to be a break (perhaps cos I'm so busy doing stuff??). There're still people I want to meet (sorry to those whom I can't meet) and things I want to do. I realize that the last few days, I've mostly been going out and helping my mum do housework. I don't think I had enough time to do the things I'd planned to do, like reading. I haven't started reading this book that I'd been intending to read called The Case For Christ. And also cooking (or learning how to cook haha). I haven't been eating at home most of the time, so I haven't had much chance to help my mum cook. The only thing I cooked were mee goreng and a few veggies haha. And I didn't have time to watch those Friends VCDs at all. There are just so many other things I wanted to do but haven't done. I can't believe that school is starting soon. It'll be a hectic 15-week sem ahead. I hope I can survive it! And it just hit me that I won't be back for another 6 months. That is so long.
I probably should sleep now before I start feeling sad all over again. I'm supposed to wake up early tomorrow for a run, but I don't know if I can wake up in time haha.
LOVE ME (Colin Raye)
I read a note my Grandma wrote
Back in 1923
Grandpa kept it in his coat
And he showed it once to me
He said
Boy you might not understand, but a long long time ago
Grandma's daddy didn't like me none
But I loved your Grandma so
We had this crazy plan to meet
And run away together
Get married in the first town we came to and live forever
But nailed to the tree where we were supposed to meet instead
I found this letter
And this is what it said
If you get there before I do
Don't give up on me
I'll meet you when my chores are through
I don't know how long I'll be
But I'm not gonna let you down
Darling wait and see
And between now and then
Until I see you again
I'll be loving you
Love me
I read those words just hours before
My Grandma passed away
In the doorway of a church
Where me and Grandpa stopped to pray
I know I've never seen him cry
In all my fifteen years
But as he said these words to her
His eyes filled up with tears
If you get there before I do
Don't give up on me
I'll meet you when my chores are through
I don't know how long I'll be
But I'm not gonna let you down
Darling wait and see
And between now and then
Until I see you again
I'll be loving you
Love me
And between now and then
Until I see you again
I'll be loving you
Love me
I've been running about doing stuff and been quite busy these days. Seems like I've very little time for myself to just rest. And it ain't gonna get any better. I know I'm supposed to pack also, but seems like I've no time. Or rather I've time, but I'm just too lazy to or just too tired haha (excuses as usual).
Yesterday, went to submit my application for Canadian visa and I'm supposed to collect it tomorrow. The application is so troublesome. There're so many specifications for the photos (one says face expression must be neutral - neither smiling nor frowning, with mouth closed. That's just so ridiculous la) and they even asked me for the address of my primary school! And then went to (finally) settle my flight booking; changed it from 1-way to 2-way cos my parents complained the 1-way was too ex. Off to dentist after that (yay now can only wear retainer twice a week haha), then meet my friend to get a finance book (looks cheem) and then went with my brother to buy webcam. He wanted to get an external hard disk as well, but it was probably more expensive than he expected. I think we need to get one la. My desktop here only has like 900 MB of free space left, no thanks to the OC episodes my brother downloaded haha.
On a sidenote, I don't know if I should get another phone (my brother lost the phone I'd been using before I left). I don't think the Motorola phone I got from T-Mobile is tri-band, and I want a tri-band phone. I don't think my mum really wants me to get another phone cos my US sim card cannot be used here, though I think you've to actually activate the international roaming thingy. Oh wells.
I realized I've eaten a lot today. Feel so bloated ugh. Had a heavy breakfast before tennis (and ate terang bulan..couldn't help myself haha), then chicken rice for lunch (finally!) and couldn't resist an ice-cream after that. Sigh.
Anyway, I just opened my andrew email (school email), and voila! An email from my 15-200 (programming course) professor! He basically talked about the course and what he's gonna do and stuff, and I've no idea what he's talking about haha. And I've pre-class homework. Reading and problem sets! Big bummer! That just adds to the list of things I've to do and there's so little time left! Besides that, I don't think I'm in the mood to do any work. Ugh. Okay I really should stop complaining haha.
Some random stuff:
Latest fetish: Painting my nails (haha I was bored). The bad thing is that you can't really try other nail-polishes cos your fingernails are already painted.
(Probable) latest food craze: Toast/bread with peanut butter and honey.
I realize if you eat too much of the food you like, you're so gonna get sick of it. Don't want that to happen to me, so no more terang bulan for me haha.
Anyway, got this from a bookmark and I thought it's really nice.
Daily Guide To Happiness
PRAY
It is the greatest power on earth
LOVE
It is a God-given privilege
READ
It is the fountain of wisdom
THINK
It is the source of power
BE FRIENDLY
It is the road to happiness
GIVE
It is too short a day to be selfish
PLAY
It is the secret of perpetual youth
LAUGH
It is the music of the soul
WORK
It is the price of success
SAVE
It is the secret of security
We were strangers, starting out on a journey
Never dreaming what we'd have to go through
Now here we are, and I'm suddenly standing
At the beginning with you
No one told me I was going to find you
Unexpected, what you did to my heart
When I lost hope, you were there to remind me
This is the start
And life is a road and I wanna keep going
Love is a river I wanna keep flowing
Life is a road, now and forever
Wonderful journey
I'll be there when the world stops turning
I'll be there when the storm is through
In the end I wanna be standing
At the beginning with you
We were strangers, on a crazy adventure
Never dreaming how our dreams would come true
Now here we stand, unafraid of the future
At the beginning with you
And life is a road and I wanna keep going
Love is a river I wanna keep flowing
Life is a road, now and forever
Wonderful journey
I'll be there when the world stops turning
I'll be there when the storm is through
In the end I wanna be standing
At the beginning with you
I knew there was somebody somewhere
Like me alone in the dark
Now I know that my dreams will live on
I've been waiting so long
Nothing's gonna tear us apart
And life is a road and I wanna keep going
Love is a river I wanna keep flowing
Life is a road, now and forever
Wonderful journey
I'll be there when the world stops turning
I'll be there when the storm is through
In the end I wanna be standing
At the beginning with you
Life is a road and I wanna keep going
Love is a river I wanna keep going on
Starting out on a journey
Life is a road and I wanna keep going
Love is a river I wanna keep flowing
In the end I wanna be standing
At the beginning with you
Someone asked me yesterday on msn about my nick and we ended up talking a little bit about the song. My nick, by the way, is "life is a road and I wanna keep going", which is taken from the song. Well, I guess I feel the same away about life as what the lyrics say. Life is full of ups-and-downs, but no matter what happens, you just have to move on with life. I'm not saying that you can't look back on the past. It's good to look back, but you can't look back all the time. The thing about looking back is that you may be filled with regret and I don't like to regret. So I'd rather move on. I mean whatever happened had happened already (and I really believe that everything happens for a reason) and you can't do anything about it. Instead, I'd learn from my mistakes so that I won't repeat them again. And I also love the rest of the lyrics. I think they're just so sweet and romantic (haha guess I'm a sucker for romantic stuff huh). Especially now, I guess it's even harder to find someone who can go through life with you that way, to find someone who will always be there for you no matter what happens. I think if you can find someone like that, you're really lucky.
Also had a quite thought-provoking conversation with my mortal last night. He was asking me if I've time to meet up with him anytime before I leave and I told him I wasn't sure cos my schedule is basically not planned yet (haha that is what I've been telling people la actually). I've a lot of things on my mind I've planned to do, but I don't know when to go about doing them. Then he said that at that rate, I'm probably not going to get anything done. He said that I can plan and plan and won't get anything done. Instead, I should just do whatever stuff I wanna do cos by the time I finish thinking, it'd be too late to start. His view is that it is good to think, but in life, we often do not have the luxury to spend too much time pondering on things. Well, in a way, he is right. But I guess I'm not the type to just start doing something without planning in advance. I like to plan first so that I will know what I will be doing.
That reminded me of a conversation I had with Jessica, Mingwei and Xinghao some time ago about relationships. Something about "just do it" and not thinking too much. And last night, the topic of conversation went to relationships too. Perhaps when you think too much, it may only lead to the end of your relationship? My mortal told me that another senior used to tell him that you should just try cos even if you fail, you know you have tried. But if you never try, you may look back 10 years later and wonder what could have been. I told him I think that way too, but I guess my mortal doesn't really agree with that view. He then asked me (and also that senior) what would happen if you try and fail and end up losing a friend? Will you look back 10 years later and ask what if you hadn't tried? I couldn't really come up with a good answer to that question. But I still believe that it's better to try and fail rather than not having tried at all. If you have tried and failed and ended up losing that someone, at least you know you have tried and you know what the person is like. There's probably a reason why you lose that friend and if you don't try, how will you be certain that that friend will still be friends with you after 10 years? There's no guarantee and so, I guess it's better to still try.
Anyway, I realize I only have 5 days left before I go back. Sigh..I really don't feel like going back at all cos that'll mean school and crazy workload all over again. There are still many people I want to meet and many things I want to do. And not enough time. Help!! And I bet each day will pass by faster and faster as it gets closer to Friday. Sigh. I just remembered I need to pack too haha, and transfer songs. Transferring songs is such a nuisance, especially when you have like more than 10GB of songs. Bleah.
MU's match tonight! But it's so late, at 12. Probably can't watch it cos I've to be up early tomorrow morning. Sigh. It's probably my last chance to watch a soccer match live, at least for a few months. And hmm.. perhaps I'm just being cynical (or even jealous), but I really do wonder about Chelsea fans. Were they supporting Chelsea beforehand, before Roman Abramovich came and before they're doing so well? Or did they just start supporting Chelsea after they saw Chelsea doing so well? (I guess I really am envious of Chelsea haha).
Anyway, went to church this morning for the 8.30 service and the sermon was good, and you can say I could relate to the message of the sermon. After that, went for Shineforth service as well and had lunch with Zaneta and Raymond. Nice to catch up with them :) Haha. And managed to talk to quite a few people from church as well. I guess I really miss church here. I miss my cell, the sunday school, the sermons, the people, the atmosphere. I don't think church there is the same, but I shall not complain la.
And it's been pouring all day today. It's been raining for the last few days actually. Washed away my plan to play tennis this evening :( Come to think of it, I haven't experienced rain for quite a while. But I would have preferred the sun. Whatever happened to sunny Singapore??
Anyway, went out with Ai Lian and Sin Hui today (finally haha). Had a good time catching up and all, and they suaned me like mad argh haha. Had a crazy time taking many many pictures, doing a whole range of poses - happy, sad, angry, sian, act cute, blur, stick-out-tongue, crazy, etc etc haha. We took a few of the pictures at the place we had lunch at and I think when we were doing one of the poses, people who were walking by just stopped and stared at us haha oops (cos we were sitting facing outside).
After that, went to watch Narnia. I like it! I think the 4 kids are so sweet and I also love the breathtaking scenery (like the snow falling everywhere, which sort of reminded me of Pittsburgh, especially when the children started throwing snow at one another..). Watching the movie made me miss the innocence and carefree nature of childhood. Sigh..
Anyway, my 11-year-old cousin just made me really realize that kids nowadays mature much more quickly. My cousin's favorite song is Black Eyed Peas' My Humps and she already wants an ipod nano. She also tells me which guys she thinks are hot/cute and which guys I should go out with (!!). Haha. All my friends thought she is 15 (I think she looks 15 actually); one even thought she's 18!
My return flight has been confirmed. Will be leaving next Friday night and arriving in Pitts on Saturday afternoon. Will be flying via Tokyo-Washington and not via HK-Chicago as I had wanted. Oh well..
After that, KTV with Huiling, Jessie, Wendy and Jane. Haha it was fun, and mad! I miss KTV-ing. They sang quite a number of Chinese songs, and surprisingly, I knew quite a number of them. Well, I recognized almost all of the Jay Chou songs they sang haha. And I was quite surprised to find that I could read quite a bit of the Chinese words, though when you put all those words together, I don't really know what they mean haha. Of course, we sang English songs too. Mostly English oldies and pop songs that were popular when we were like way back in Sec 2. I realized Backstreet Boys songs are nice for KTV-ing. And Ricky Martin songs have spastic lyrics. Had a hilarious time singing She Bangs and Shake Your Bon Bon back-to-back haha. We were like standing up on the couch singing songs during the last half hour la haha. So fun :) Sang for 4 hours and I lost my voice. Hopefully I won't get sore throat.
Anyway, I realized my music taste (may) has changed a bit. At CMU, I mostly listen to English oldies and pop songs by boybands haha (perhaps influenced by the people around me?), unless I'm listening to my ipod, which has many more songs. Of course thinking back, I can't believe that I used to like Backstreet Boys and N'Sync haha. But actually after listening to their songs again, I think their songs are actually nice and they have sweet/sappy, if not romantic, lyrics.
My knees hurt, perhaps from jogging this morning? My stamina sucks, as expected. Gonna sleep now; another busy day tomorrow. And Sin Hui, I wanna go KTV-ing with you! Haha.
I happened to look through the photo albums in my room. Didn't bring those over cos I had all the photos in my comp. Photos of my JC days and memories came rushing back. Looking at the photos, I could still remember those days vividly and yet I was reminded at the same time that those days were long gone..they were like almost two years ago. Which again reminds me how time really flies. I guess the older you are, the faster time flies. I guess you're caught up with more stuff that you have less time to do stuff that you really enjoy, and to really sit back and enjoy life. Again, that's really sad. The sadder thing is that when you're having a good time, time seems to pass by even faster, and when you're not having such a good time, time can seem to crawl at a snail's pace. Oh well..I just want to enjoy and make the most out of the good times I have in my life, and really cherish those moments, so that I can remember them later on, when I'm going through difficult periods, to encourage me and enable me to get through the hard times. (Sigh..am I even making sense??)
Anyway, there are so many things to do and yet so little time! Seems like that's always the case isn't it? (And when you have nothing to do, there seems to be so much time haha). I just created my "things to do in singapore" list just now and the list just keeps on growing haha. Hmm.. I must plan my time properly to make the most out of my time here.
And yes, I gotta admit I'm jealous that you guys are right now, on the way to watch Memoirs at the cinema there. I haven't watched a movie at a cinema ever since I left and that's quite pathetic huh. Memoirs is not open here yet and I think it may well be over by the time I go back there. Argh!!
This sounds like a sad entry and I don't want to make myself feel worse. So I shall end here and sleep. Oh just realized I do need to sleep, considering I woke up to watch the match this morning (a waste of time really). So yes, shall sleep now. And I promise to cheer up :)
I've finished packing. Going back to Singapore tomorrow. So fast! That means (more than) half of my holidays are gone and it's only about 10 days left before I go back. Did quite a bit of stuff these past 2 days. Played tennis yesterday and today and I really really enjoyed myself. I miss playing tennis :( Hopefully will get a chance to play over there once the snow starts to melt. Went out to buy DVDs yesterday, but I went on the wrong day. All the shops were closed cos they're scared of being caught by the police. Sigh..first time I don't buy DVDs when I'm back home..seems so weird (it's not a good habit, I know, haha but oh well..). And today, went out with two of my primary school friends, Jevelin and Budy, and we went to Arta Gading, which is a really deserted mall. But it was nice catching up with them again. As usual, they laughed at my sucky Indo and I learnt a lot more Indo slang words haha. Then went bowling. Haha my bowling is still as sucky as ever. Budy was lucky that I had a 1 on the last frame; if not he would've gotten the lowest score out of the 3 of us haha. Had dinner just now at a Hong Kong restaurant and had dim sum! Hmm.. I realized I've been eating a lot over the past few days. Ugh..not good. Haha I sound very rambly and I probably am..getting more distracted now haha.
Anyway, 2 Indonesian foods I will miss: Terang bulan, which is this Indonesian cake consisting of flour, banana, chocolate, cheese, nuts, milk (well..you can choose what you want inside, but that's normally what we choose), very very yummy but sinful; and mpek mpek (not sure how to spell it, and not sure how to describe it haha).
Had a mass conversation yesterday afternoon with the 4 of them. It was madness as usual. Sigh, I really miss having the 4 of them around and it felt good to have that crazy mass convo again. Well, I guess I'll see them soon enough. Meanwhile, have fun guys, and enjoy your holidays, wherever you are!
I think I should sleep now. Going to wake up to watch the Arsenal-MU match later on. First time waking up to watch a match in like don't know how long haha.
I did a reflection of the year 2005 this afternoon. I'm usually not the type of person to sit down and reflect, but I just felt I had to reflect on the past year, and boy did I write and write and write. All I can say is that 2005 went by very fast, I guess the fastest year ever for me (I think every year from now on will be faster than the previous years). It's been a year of change and of learning. And I'm just glad for everything that has happened. I do not like to look back on things with regret cos I believe that everything happens for a reason. The bad stuff (or stuff that didn't turn out your way) happened so that you can learn from them and the good stuff happened to be remembered and cherished. I'm just thankful for all the experiences I've had, the friends I've made, the people I've met, the places I've been to, and for all the many other little things in life we tend to ignore and forget. Looking ahead, I think I'm actually quite excited about the new year, and about the new experiences that I'm going to face.
That aside, I realize that I'm not as excited as I used to be about new year's countdown. Perhaps it was the realization that it's just gonna be another day, just that you write the year differently? Had a relatively quiet new year's eve. My relatives from Lampung came over to Jakarta and stayed at a hotel nearby my house, so my dad also booked a room there for me and my brother to stay in. Had dinner with them before watching the MU-Bolton match. And yes MU won 4-1!! I fell asleep after MU scored the 3rd goal haha, but I woke up in time after the end of the match for the countdown. Saw fireworks from the room (it was on 17th floor, so I could see places far away) and the fireworks went non-stop, coming from everywhere, for like at least 10 minutes before I gave up watching them and went back to sleep haha.
Going to play tennis tomorrow (finally!!), so I guess I better sleep earlier tonight. And yes, I've finally recovered! :)
Life can be sucky, but it can be beautiful too.