design'by*blackraeyn;

Friday, January 13, 2006

This is it. I'm mostly packed (or so I hope), save for a few little things. I don't want to leave. It's just too soon. Too fast. It just feels so..wrong to be leaving, after barely more than a week here in Singapore. After all, this is my home (and Jakarta too). But yet, as much as I'm reluctant to leave, I don't have much of a choice, do I? I guess the word that comes to find to describe the second time leaving is bittersweet. There will be less uncertainties, but I'll be leaving for a longer period this time - 6 months. It seems so long and so daunting. I'm not sure how I'm going to survive those 6 months. If I'd already gotten so homesick just being there for 4 months, what more for 6? And knowing that I won't be back for 6 months is perhaps the reason why I've packed many more clothes and shoes/sandals/slippers. All packed for "just in case".

On a lighter note, I guess I've had a fantastic time here, albeit it feels too short and too fast. Had a great time ktv-ing yesterday and yes, I still found it quite amazing that I can sing Chinese songs too. (Jessica, we must somehow ktv over there haha). Made another breakfast date, and I hope this time, I'll be able to keep it. And then met up with Shuping too, and made a Wimbledon/US Open date. Haha looking forward to it!

I realize the closer I am to leaving, the more I learn to cherish things that I know I won't be able to find there. Like food. My mum cooked for me Indonesian food for dinner last night (had my favorite mpek mpek fried with egg..yummy!) and lunch just now, and she bought me Crystal Jade roast duck and carrot cake for dinner tonight :) Somehow, last week, I didn't really feel the need to eat all those food that I know I won't be able to eat for a long period of time, but the last few days, I suddenly thought of a list of such foods and I realize that I really really gotta eat them somehow, sometime before I leave.

I guess it's sort of the same thing with people too, isn't it? You don't really know how much your family and friends mean to you until you aren't around them for a period of time. The thing is, it's inevitable that they probably will move on with their lives without you, but I really hope that when I come back next time, things will still be like what they used to be. However, speaking from personal experiences, I know that that will be quite difficult.

I think I should get back to packing again. It'll be a long 27 hours journey in total, including transit time, of which I probably need a few hours to do my homework haha. So I guess it'll be hello Pittsburgh in 1.5 days' time! And see you all there!

This taken from my friend's nick: Life is bittersweet. How true how true.

posted by vivien at 4:14 AM




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