design'by*blackraeyn;

Sunday, February 12, 2006

It seems that everything gets harder and harder as the weeks pass by. Schoolwise, this week is gonna be one of the toughest weeks of the sem - 2 tests on Monday and Wednesday (matrix and DE), history paper due by Friday, programming homeworks due Monday and Wednesday, matrix algebra homework due Friday, math finance homework due Friday, history reading by Friday (if not cannot participate in discussions..), psych research by Tuesday. Okay..you get the point. I'm really really stressed at the moment. I just hope I can survive this week. I know I'm already going a bit crazy and it's only the start of the week! So pardon me if I get really really irritating and if you all get super sick of my complaining. Bleah.

A friend told me online this morning, "Don't fret and don't get angsty. You survived the crash and the burn from HC!" Haha thank you for that! All I can say is that I didn't know uni life can be so tough. It's the endless homework that's really killing me. Or maybe I just don't manage my time well. Or maybe I just put too much pressure on myself. Sigh..I don't know!!

One of my seniors asked me on Friday if I was going for ACF and again, I had to say no. Then he just told me that I'd have to decide between ACF and SSA. There're just so many things to do and sadly to say, I don't think I can commit to ACF. And I can't commit to cell either. But why must it be this way? Why must I put everything else above Him? I'd promised myself to be more disciplined in my quiet time, but right now, I'm just so stressed up in everything else that by the time I want to do my quiet time, I'm just too tired and too sleepy. And doing quiet time would seem very daunting. I can't even spare a mere 15 minutes each day reading the Bible and praying! I seem to have been caught up in all the other (worldly..guess you can put it that way) stuff and neglecting Him. And I want all that to change. But can it change? Or rather, will I allow it to change? Will I change my attitude?

It's very convenient for me to say that my life right now is in a complete mess. Looking for a place to stay just adds to the list. Sigh..why must life be so hard? I guess I just have to take things slowly, one step at a time, and maybe I'll consider dropping a course if I really really can't take it. I hope life gets better for me though. I don't know how long more I can stand all these.

posted by vivien at 6:25 PM




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