life.is.beautiful.

Monday, March 13, 2006

Spring break is finally here! Well..not really doing anything special for spring break..just bumming around and slacking for a few days here in Pitts, before starting work again (sigh). Okay..shall not think about work for the moment. Been enjoying myself, sort of, for the past 3 days. I can finally relax and not feel guilty about it! Played bridge and bang (with 8 pple haha) on thursday night till like 5am. Went to Monroeville on Friday..the Kaufmann's there had up to 80% clearance sale! The jeans had 60% discount.. DKNY and Levi's jeans went from like 40+ bucks to 16 bucks! Haha cheap right? Bought myself a pair of jeans. Well everything else was cheap too, but I had to restrain myself and not buy much stuff. Had prefab on Saturday, went to Waterfront and watched Serendipity after that. And today, played ping pong for 4 hours (qt fun haha) and watched Brokeback Mountain. Nothing much really, but it's the company that counts I guess. My body clock is getting a bit messed up though. I've been sleeping so much and waking up so late! And I overslept and missed church again. Argh...feel so guilty! Feel like I'm drifting away.. Need to do something about it hmm, and not just say it but actually do it. Oh well.

Just listened to this song, and I guess the song carries a much deeper meaning now compared to a few years ago when I heard the song for the first time.

I'M NOT A GIRL, NOT YET A WOMAN (Britney Spears)

I used to think
I had the answers to everything
But now I know
That life doesn't always go my way, yeah
Feels like I'm caught in the middle
That's when I realize

I'm not a girl, not yet a woman
All I need is time
A moment that is mine
While I'm in between
I'm not a girl

There is no need to protect me
It's time that I
Learn to face up to this on my own, oh
I've seen so much more than you know now
So don't tell me to shut my eyes

I'm not a girl, not yet a woman
All I need is time
A moment that is mine
While I'm in between
I'm not a girl

But if you look at me closely
You will see it in my eyes
This girl will always find her way

(I'm not a girl) I'm not a girl, don't tell me what to believe
(Not yet a woman) I'm just trying to find the woman in me, yeah
(All I need is time) Oh, all I need is time
That's mine, while I'm in between

I'm not a girl, not yet a woman
All I need is time
A moment that is mine
While I'm in between

I'm not a girl
Not yet a woman

I'm not a girl, not yet a woman. I guess that describes the phase I'm in perfectly. Especially since I'm gonna be out of my teens soon :( I don't wanna grow up! I don't wanna face up to the cold realities of the world. I wish I can just stay young, innocent and carefree, being childish without feeling guilty about it, and lead a simple and uncomplicated life. But I guess I'm forced to grow up, to mature, be independent and responsible, to make your own decisions and learn the consequences of your actions/decisions, and to stand up on your own feet. Scary how time passes so quickly huh? Like almost 20 years of your life gone by just like that. The thought of being an adult kindda scares me. Oh well. No use looking back and wish that you were still a child again..you know that's impossible. Might as well look forward and enjoy what's left of my teenage year.

It's already almost 4.30am and I really should sleep. Gotta go to travel agent to book my flight back in summer!

posted by vivien at 4:03 AM

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