And ever since booth ended, I'm feeling really lazy. Or maybe I'm just burnt-out by everything. This sem has been so tough, so testing. So many things going on and so many responsibilities. So much so that I don't really have time to do anything else or to relax. And I feel so unmotivated now. Just look at my programming. I started the last last programming assignment of the sem on the day itself. Obviously, I didn't finish it. But the thing is I didn't feel a sense of urgency to start at all. I just didn't feel like programming at all. Think I've done too many programming assignments this sem, as in, the programming stuff I had to do really took a lot out of me, considering that I'm not that great in programming also, and it didn't help that I didn't have a good partner, so I ended up doing the assignments myself. I'm resigned to getting a B in it, even though I know I still have a slim chance of getitng an A. I can't believe I'm giving up just like that. Gotta buck up.. programming midterm next week and I need to get full marks! (Well, you either get 0, 50 or 100 haha).
Psych freshie sem is the other one I really need to buck up. 15page paper to write! The thought of having to write so long is just bleah. Haha. I hope my crapping skills have improved enough for me to smoke through so many pages hehe.
I realize my grades are slipping. It's really no joke. And I'm skipping classes like nobody's business now. This is really bad. Buck up and persevere! Next week: 2 midterms, 1 presentation, 2 homeworks. Following week: 4 finals. Last week: math finance final. And soon it'll be over. Must really motivate myself to persevere. The good news about finals is that the hardest paper (programming) will be on the first day, and after that, I'll be done with programming!
Anyway, I'm in a dilemma right now. About school and what to do after this. 3 or 4? Stay or drop out of SHS (science & humanities) program? Business or econs? I've to make decisions and I hate making decisions. Especially decisions such as these that can have a bearing on my future.
Most important decision I have to make is probably whether to stay in cmu for 3 or 4 years. I'll be able to complete my degree and get a minor in 3, or get an additional major in 4. I really don't know. I know my parents prefer me to graduate as fast as I can, partly cos of financial reasons, so I thought I'd do it in 3. But getting a second degree would be nice also. The thing is, I'm a person easily influenced by my friends. Everyone else is graduating in 3 with a double degree. But most of my friends are on scholarship and I'm not. And they're not doing comp finance, so getting a double degree isn't a problem. Comp finance core requirements are just crazy. I'm so undecided right now. The good thing is, I have some time to decide, until next sem, when I have to register for Spring '07 courses.
The SHS program is something I have to consider also. I guess it doesn't really have that many benefits to me, but I'm a person who dare not take risks (aka do something unconventional like dropping out of a program). My advisor offered me this possibility yesterday. If I stay in SHS, I need to do 3 more humans courses (psych, philo and language/music course). If I drop out, I need 2 more (pscyh and another humans course, which may overlap with comp finance requirements). How how? Actually, there's not really much of a difference between staying and dropping out. I'm interested in taking philo, so I'll probably take it sometime (not really a philo person, but curious to know what's about). The problem is the language/music course. I'd originally planned on taking french and philo in summer. But I'm now not sure about taking french (especially since there's no one taking with me now haha). From past experience, I know that if you learn a language and don't use it, you'd easily forget it. So I'm not sure if learning French 1 will be useful, unless I continue with French 2. But even then, I'd probably forget it, even though I'm interested in learning French. My mum asked me to take Chinese (again). I'm quite sick of learning Chinese haha and again, I'd probably just forget it also. Another option will be to take piano classes, but I don't think I can take this in summer. If I don't do do a language course in summer, I'd only have 1 summer course. I can do a business course also...
But this only counts if I wanna do business major/minor. If I do econs it's not needed. I called my mum yesterday and she told me it may be better to do business instead of econs. I'm not sure. Business is definitely more practical. I like econs but it may be too theoretical. (Is that true??) My mum thinks if I do comp finance and business, I may not even have to do an MBA (or finish MBA faster - it works that way meh?). But I still want to get a master's degree. I need to decide whether I want to do that business course cos summer school is approaching fast.
I'm just so confused right now. Too many things on my mind. Off to play tennis (finally!). Hope that will clear my mind a little.