life.is.beautiful.

Sunday, November 05, 2006

Sometimes, I feel that I'm treating God like a Santa Claus. You know, someone that I turn to when I need requests or ask favors from, expect Him to grant me what I have asked for and that's it. But obviously, that's not the right attitude to have. Christian faith should not be justified by the miracles He has performed in our lives or by the extent to which we have gotten what we asked for. After all, faith is believing in something and being certain of it without seeing it. It means that if our prayer requests are not granted, we should still be faithful to Him and trust in His plan. I guess that is something I need to work on. Right now, I feel that I don't really seek Him when life is going smoothly for me, instead of seeking Him all the time. Besides, I tend to lose faith when the going gets tough, even though time and again, I have been proven wrong and I'm truly amazed at how certain things in my life seem to fall together perfectly and at how He has taken care of me. I want to be more faithful, make my life more Christ-centered and spend more time with Him.

Anyway, it has been a good weekend and I'm really glad for the (short) break from school. The opportunity to unwind a little, spend some time with my friends and get away from work for a while, though I still did a bit of work (well, life of a CMU student..).

Watched The Usual Suspects on Friday night and it is a brilliant film. I usually don't cry when listening to songs, but Gary Barlow's Forever Love made me want to tear. And Bon Jovi's Bed of Roses is stuck in my head now! I'm also back into my "koping songs" mode haha. Many many more Bon Jovi songs in my collection now! I know that I like pop-rock songs best, but I realize the songs that have the piano playing in the background are the ones that leave the most impression on me. Listening to music played on the piano has always managed to calm me down and given me a sense of peace and yeah, I really do miss playing the piano.

Going back plans to Singapore in december are still not confirmed yet. It's really very very messy right now. But somehow, I have this sense of inner peace that everything will be sorted out in the end. And I'm glad for that.

I was telling a few friends yesterday that whenever people ask me how I am doing, I'd always reply, "Good. But I'm feeling very tired". I realized that I usually tell people I am feeling very tired and stressed, and that just sounds so miserable! I don't really want to make myself sound so depressed and get others feeling rather depressed too. So well, I guess I really should learn to take things just as they come and not worry so much. Don't frown and smile more instead haha (besides, frowning will give me wrinkles!!). I have told myself this many times before, but I have not really succeeded yet, but I promise I'll try. Thank you to people who have given me words of encouragement over the past week. Talking to you guys have made me feel much better and I really appreciate that :)

Next week: homework due tomorrow(!!) and midterm on friday. And phone interview on Tuesday. The weekend is going to end soon, but I'm feeling much more refreshed now.

All the best to my two brothers for their exams! Can't wait to see you guys soon!

posted by vivien at 5:44 PM

Comments: Post a Comment