I think there are probably too many things on my mind right now. Packing and moving have been driving me insane. It's not the actual packing, but rather, it's how I'm going to ship my stuff back. I finally gave them a call yesterday and hopefully, it will be settled by the end of the week. And I guess something else has been occupying my mind that I probably shouldn't think about too much. I would like to think that I'm the sort of person who is able to let some things slide by. But I guess what hurts is knowing that the trust that has been developed is potentially damaged, and how this whole situation turns out can basically affect my friendships with other people and influence how my friends think of me (my honesty/integrity is at stake here). I know I shouldn't let this affect me too much and what has been done is done. Hopefully, I will be able to look past this, leave it as it is and forgive and forget.
Anyway, the past two weeks (since I last wrote) have been such a blur, especially last week. I was so busy with my presentations, meetings, tests and schoolwork that the fact it was my last week of classes was basically the last thing on my mind. And I was sick too. But it's all over now and I guess the fact that there are no more (college) classes, that I am a senior and about to graduate, have all finally started to sink in for me. For once, I'm actually excited about graduation, instead of not wanting to graduate and dreading it. It was also a bittersweet end to the week. We had our SSA end-of-sem dinner, my last SSA event here. And then a final "group meeting" with my two project mates, whom I've become quite close to after taking the same classes for the past few semesters. They are such funny people and they never fail to amuse me, which really made meetings more interesting and less dull, even if there were a lot of work to be done. Got a graduation present from them, in the form of a Class of 2008 shot glass! (Nice work guys haha). And then my cell group made a farewell lunch and whipped a fantastic chocolate dessert for my cell leader and I, who are both graduating. I've become a lot closer with and gotten to know my cell group people better over the past year. I'm quite blessed and thankful to have committed to cell group because I feel I have learned a lot from both bible study and sharing, especially this semester.
This week has been relatively quiet in comparison. Honestly, it's been a case of finding things to do to occupy my time with. Of course, I knew I had to start packing and sorting my stuff out, but it was very difficult to get going. But anyway, I have done as much packing as I can possibly do and I'm not going to bother with it again until after my finals are over. It was really interesting though to discover the stuff I have accumulated over the past few years. My stack of handwritten notes from various classes, old papers from classes I took in freshman year like I&A, random souvenirs that I keep (Christina Aguilera concert ticket, Washington Monument brochure, Magic Kingdom entry ticket, etc). I have also kept every single card/note received in college, and even the farewell cards and notes I had gotten while coming here for the first time, and also photo albums of the past few semesters here. I also realized I still have my admission letters to CMU! And a copy of last year's Tartan that I appeared in. Haha. The sentimental side of me couldn't bear to throw them away, but of course, I had to throw away quite a few stuff.
Been really feeling quite unmotivated and slack. I think this is probably the most relaxed I've felt during finals week. Only have 2 finals to sit for, and my first one is on Friday! I guess I should probably start studying soon though. The finals take up quite a big percentage of my grade and I really want to do my best just because it is my last finals and I want to end my last semester on a high note!