Well I'm feeling quite high now, don't know why, think I'm out of my mind. Jessica spilt hot chocolate all over my stuff and I was actually quite amused by it. As in..my phone and my notes and assignment totally smelt of chocolate..luckily my jeans were spared haha.
I think I've been feeling better over the weekend. Was feeling quite sian towards the end of last week, especially Friday, mainly cos of that photomosaic assignment. Just felt I couldn't cope with everything and was getting sick of everything..sick of the same cycle, same routine. But now..that inner perseverance has slowly returned again. I'll just remember that I can do everything through Him who gives me strength :). Hope it'll be a better week ahead.
Random stuff: Housing and plane ticket stuff roughly settled, but still need to confirm. I love playing Bang! haha. And Spring Break coming soon! Looking forward to some much-needed break. And yeah..MU thrashed Wigan 4-0! At least not a trophyless season. Now for doing their best for EPL..
I OFFER MY LIFE
All that I am, all that I have
I lay them down before You, O Lord
All my regrets, all my acclaim
The joy and the pain, I'm making them Yours
Lord, I offer my life to You
Everything I've been through
Use it for Your glory
Lord, I offer my days to You
Lifting my praise to You
As a pleasing sacrifice
Lord, I offer You my life
Things in the past, things yet unseen
Wishes and dreams that are yet to come true
All of my hopes, all of my praise
My heart and my hands are lifted to You
Lord, I offer my life to You
Everything I've been through
Use it for Your glory
Lord, I offer my days to You
Lifting my praise to You
As a pleasing sacrifice
Lord, I offer You my life
Everyone seems to have that johari thingy, where you pick 5/6 words that best describe yourself and ask your friends to pick 5/6 words that they think best describe you and see if the words they think of match what you think of. It's quite interesting to see what other people think of you. But then again, I couldn't really find words to describe myself cos I don't think most of them describe me. Oh well..something to be done for fun anyway.
I overslept this morning and didn't go to church. Oops. I feel like I'm backsliding more and more. Oh no :( And the weather is truly unpredictable. It's so coldddd now yet it was like 11/12 degrees in midweek (now it's like -7). I feel stupid doing programming. And why must you be so unreasonable? Why why why???
Anyway, I've surprisingly been getting enough sleep despite all the homework. The only days I don't get much sleep are Thursday (cos a lot of homework due Friday) and Friday (taking a break haha). This Thursday, I slept at 5.30am and that's only cos I gave up doing my matrix algebra homework. I didn't see any point in doing it if I didn't understand what was going on at all. So I didn't hand in the homework and got a zero for it (luckily they drop the lowest 2 hwk scores). I felt quite bad obviously cos well, I shouldn't have been so last-minute. Hopefully that's a lesson I will learn.
I realize that having a Singaporean citizenship does have its privileges (can't really think of a suitable word..). Like you don't have to apply for a visa when you want to travel. We're thinking of going back via Frankfurt and stopping over there for a few days, but I discovered I need to apply for German visa. Sigh.. had to apply for Canadian visa also that time. So troublesome! It's like you can't really go to whichever country you want to go to freely. Oh well.. the most troublesome thing about applying for German visa is that you may have to apply it in person, and doing all the paperwork also. But I hope I can stop over there for a few days. I mean..there's World Cup in Germany!! Haha. Speaking of soccer, MU lost. Oh well. Poor Alan Smith.
I don't know. I'm just feeling very indifferent to everything. Maybe the homework is really getting to me. I'm really quite worried about programming and my time management. And I'm really really not sure if I can cope with everything. I'm not sure now if I can perform in all 6 courses, considering that I don't really spend much time in a few of the courses (like psych research ugh). I don't know. Suddenly dropping a course looks like a realistic option. But I'll just tahan for the moment. Hopefully I'm doing the right thing.
Oh ya, someone sent this to me about citation (need it for history paper), which I thought was pretty funny: "Inside the paper, when quoting directly from the Bible, offer parenthetical citations: not author and page (God 2307)". HAHA.
THROUGH IT ALL
You are forever in my life
You see me through the seasons
Cover me with Your hands
And lead me in Your righteousness
And I look to You
And I wait on You
I’ll sing to You Lord, a hymn of love
For Your faithfulness to me
I’m carried in everlasting arms
You’ll never let me go
Through it all
Hallelujah…
Hallelujah…
Hallelujah…
Hallelujah…
A friend told me online this morning, "Don't fret and don't get angsty. You survived the crash and the burn from HC!" Haha thank you for that! All I can say is that I didn't know uni life can be so tough. It's the endless homework that's really killing me. Or maybe I just don't manage my time well. Or maybe I just put too much pressure on myself. Sigh..I don't know!!
One of my seniors asked me on Friday if I was going for ACF and again, I had to say no. Then he just told me that I'd have to decide between ACF and SSA. There're just so many things to do and sadly to say, I don't think I can commit to ACF. And I can't commit to cell either. But why must it be this way? Why must I put everything else above Him? I'd promised myself to be more disciplined in my quiet time, but right now, I'm just so stressed up in everything else that by the time I want to do my quiet time, I'm just too tired and too sleepy. And doing quiet time would seem very daunting. I can't even spare a mere 15 minutes each day reading the Bible and praying! I seem to have been caught up in all the other (worldly..guess you can put it that way) stuff and neglecting Him. And I want all that to change. But can it change? Or rather, will I allow it to change? Will I change my attitude?
It's very convenient for me to say that my life right now is in a complete mess. Looking for a place to stay just adds to the list. Sigh..why must life be so hard? I guess I just have to take things slowly, one step at a time, and maybe I'll consider dropping a course if I really really can't take it. I hope life gets better for me though. I don't know how long more I can stand all these.
Haha yeah that was basically the highlight of my weekend. Starting watching the game from the halftime show onwards (first time watching American foootball) and I must say it's quite an exciting game. But the game was interrupted quite a bit by adverts and timeouts, though the adverts were ridiculously funny haha. So the Steelers won a record-tying 5th Superbowl, after not winning for 16 years, and they made quite a bit of history along the way. I must admit the atmosphere was fantastic; you could just feel the excitement in the air. And the streets were deserted cos everyone was watching the game. Obviously, everyone here was rooting for the Steelers and after the Steelers won, it was just madness. There was fire in the middle of Morewood Avenue, where my dorm is located. Apparently, someone burned a couch haha. And over at nearby UPitt, a car got overturned. Basically, everyone was just celebrating haha. I'd never thought I'd study in the city where the Superbowl champions come from, but I guess it's a really nice feeling. Definitely a unique experience.
Anyway, this week is another busy week for me. Lots of homework to be done :( Was quite sian over the weekend, trying to do a bit of work. I knew I had to do work, but just thinking of the amount of work to be done put me off. I realize that that's not such a good attitude cos well, basically having such an attitude will really make you feel lazy to do work. And over the weekend, I read something from the Bible, which sort of gave me the encouragement I need, not to be sian in what I do, and also gave me the strength to get through the week. I still find it amazing that sometimes, when I read the Bible, a few words just jump out and those words are really the words that I need to hear at that point in time.
Off to do my Math Finance assignment now..
Turn your eyes upon Jesus
Look full in His wonderful face
And the things of earth will grow strangely dim
In the light of His glory and grace