The days after finals ended went by very quickly, too fast for my liking. We headed down to D.C. and Shenandoah for 6 days, and it was an awesome trip. Beautiful views of nature (though perhaps I had expected a little more), familiar sights of landmarks and monuments (and visiting the Fed after a whole semester of studying about the Fed and its policies), lots of walking/hiking and talking nonsense, but what I loved most was the excitement of visiting new places seeing new things with friends and just enjoying the company of the people around me. The trip did make me feel a lot better actually, considering I had a rather rough finals week and a crazy day of grading after that.
And so, my sophomore year has ended, and to me, this past semester has been THE semester of my life so far in CMU, not only academically, but in terms of my life in general. From many many memorable times (trips to Boston and DC with the same people, Christina Aguilera concert, cell group appreciation dinner, being a TA, being featured on the Tartan, watching sunsets, DB offer) to not-so-good times (struggling with 420, interview after interview and getting rejected), and also not forgetting the little things like the crazy and unpredictable weather (but what's new?), weekly cookouts and talking (or lately, poking) with them and green bean soup (enough said).
But above all, what I'm really going to take away from the past semester is the closer friendships I have formed with people, as we share our joys, struggles, worries, and also those seemingly endless conversations. Thank you for making me smile and laugh while I was down and about to cry, for listening to me, and just for being there for me.
During one of the car rides at Shenandoah, I remember us listening to Graduation and singing to the chorus of the song. As we go on, we remember. All the times we had together. And as our lives change, come whatever. We will still be friends forever. It was then that the lyrics really hit me. Senior year beckons and I know I should be feeling excited about it. But actually, I'm feeling rather sad that this is going to be my last year.
And that's when I start wishing that time would not pass by so quickly, and that tomorrow would never come. Ah well.
Argh!! Trying my hardest to concentrate studying for econs tomorrow, but the motivation to study just isn't there. I think it's probably more cos I'm burned out. Oh well. I've been trying to tell myself to "tahan" until Friday, before I can finally take a short break. The warm weather (28 degrees!) isn't helping either. I want to go out and play tennis in the sun (and erm..get a tan..) but why am I stuck indoors doing work?
I wonder how other TAs feel..do they feel irritated too when they want to do their own work but they can't because the students keep bugging them? I know it sounds pretty mean, but that's the situation I'm in now. Wanted to study econs, but was tied up with matrix stuff today (office hours and scanning answers, not to mention answering emails), and people have started bugging me more about grades too. Arghhh! I mean I like teaching, don't get me wrong, but when I'm busy, it gets frustrating I guess.
I'm having cold feet about internship before it has even started (and I'm not even back yet). I mean I have been getting emails from them about the internship and I have admin stuff to attend to, but somehow, the emails about the details of the internship keep reminding me that what I'm going to do ain't going to be easy, that there are going to be long hours and the potential of having to work on weekends. I still am excited about it, but I guess the feeling of uncertainty over how it will turn out is bothering me. Oh well.
Back to Econs readings, which I'm not really getting. I'm so lost reading about banking system. Oh well..and tomorrow, my head is going to be filled with Ito's formulas, Brownian motions, martingales, bonds, Girsanov's theorems, change of measures, etc etc etc (from studying 420). Just have to persevere.
Okay I should really get back to my readings.
But anyway, thank you, my dear little brother, for having made my day! And the day has barely stated too. Your sms made me go awwwww haha and I couldn't stop smiling :)
And I was reminded of a verse in Philippians when I did my quiet time this morning. I guess that's His way of telling me that I have nothing to fear because I have Him.
Hopefully the day will turn out better.
Hold your head up high
And don't be afraid of the dark
At the end of a storm
There's a golden sky
And the sweet silver song of a lark
Walk on through the wind
Walk on through the rain
Though your dreams be tossed and blown
Walk on, walk on, with hope in your heart
And you'll never walk alone
You'll never walk alone
Walk on, walk on, with hope in your heart
And you'll never walk alone
You'll never walk alone
Haha okay, that was the Liverpool anthem, but I love the song! Especially after watching Jordin Sparks performing it on American Idol. It is such a haunting song and I really like the lyrics too.
Anyway, I'm feeling much better after yesterday. I guess the BSCF picnic and bbq at the guys' place made my day. Oh well. Still feeling really tired though from such a long week and from squash last night (and I think I'm falling sick too..oh no!). In any case, finals week beckons, and I'm just going to do my best and not be defeated haha.